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The truth is the poster above was last put on the draft of this blog by the end of last year (29th December 2010).  I visited the blog once in a while thinking to update it.  As you would know, the person that I am, ambivalent always, leads to procrastination.

I has been almost a year since my last update and things in my life has gone from what is complicated and perhaps at some point unstable, to routine and boring.  Yeah, I am not entirely happy of my life but well, no change there, I'm bored with my life, and I live my live day to day in lethargy.  I am not the same person that I once were.  My best friend once told me, I used to be full of positivity and cheerful.  Well I am still the cheerful person that I am, but I'm so used to wear this mask, that it's almost part of me, even deep inside my heart burns with despair.

Part of the reason although not the predominant factor, is that I am in a relationship, and my other half doesn't seem to have any liking to this blog.  So writing this blog does have its risk feature.  My other half didn't like because it reeks of my past life and love.  I guess my other half is not familiar with the point of keeping the past, not to hold on to, but to reflect all the good and bad that had come my way.  But anyway, there's so many things that I wanted to say that I digress from my original intention to write this blog, to which now, I have forgotten.

I'm gonna stop here and put this post to draft as I need to go...  Will be back to write more...

A few weeks have pass by.  I am back on this drafted and yet to be posted post.  Am I making any sense? 

Here I am again, and I have a bomb to announce.  I have decided to kill this blog.  I have discussed about this blog with my other half, and it seems that I can't keep this blog and I will start a new one under an anonymous name (however, I'm still thinking about being anonymous).  My other half didn't like the idea of my exes' reading my blog.  I asked why, but there was no reply and my other half didn't have an answer to that.  I don't get it why my other half would have a problem with that, but nevertheless I have to respect the decision. 

I feel very sad that I have to kill this blog.  Not that I am holding to the past, but more of nostalgic feeling.  Nostalgic, in this sense, is that it's part of me and it poses more of a diary to me, more than anything else.  This blog also served me as a partner that gave me strength and hope for the better.  I know I'm good with words, and words are the only thing that I could express myself or release the ache deep in my heart.  I would like to thank my readers that have supported me all these time, giving me hope and showing me that, yes, there is light at the end of a very dark tunnel.  I appreciate that from the bottom of my heart.

Until then, hope you'll find me in my new reborn blog.  Thank you.

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