Kellaz, A Journal

Yesterday, I went to my Auntie's place to break fast, she and her family always do this during the Ramadan period, calling all relatives and friends and have a doa selamat and tahlil for his late son. His son is about my age, but he passed away in 2000 in a car crash. Sometimes I sometimes feel like my aunt is looking at me in a weird sad way, it used to be that way but it's getting lesser as years goes by. My cousin who passed away is the only cousin of my age group. It's sad to think about it, he's is much closer to my brother than I am, but when we were growing up as kids, he was quite close to me, then again, he loved to bully the big fat kid. That's me, of course, but nevertheless close. If he is still around, he would be married with at least 3 kids and happy. But then again, as everything life has to offer, life surely have to go on. I received a comment from a reader with regards to my last post. I don't usually talk about people who gave commen...

I sincerely apologise for not updating this blog, I have been meaning to, but recently I was not in the mood to write or maybe having a writer's block... I've started a post before but then I find myself staring at the blank white space and ended up logging off. I've been busy lately, not at work but at the personal level. Today is actually my first day at work since Ramadan started. Oh yeah, silly me, Happy Ramadan and may this Ramadan and fasting season give you a lot of blessings from Allah . I have been fasting, I didn't break any despite getting sick for the couple of days now. Boy, do I have a lot of things to share with you... Most of them are dear diary moments , and in fact this will be a dear diary episode of a post. But then again, I can't even remember what happened last week. Everything just zipped pass by me in a flash and it's over and done with, and I didn't even had fun! I think....? Oh yeah, last Saturday, was the first day of Ram...

The family back at home have been planning to do a Tahlil and D oa Arwah, Doa Tolak Bala and Doa Selamat . (Prayers who have pass on, and prayers for longevity, etc) . And my mum decided to do it this weekend before the Ramadhan months starts. We usually do this function during the Ramadhan month, whilst breaking fast as well. But my mum doesn't think she can manage all that during the Ramadhan month. About a week in advance my youngest sister had already booked all three of us (me and two big brothers) to do some house-keeping and do tidying up at home before the Sunday function, I worked on Fridays, so my eldest brother went alone, my elder brother and I came on Saturday and did we worked our ass off. My mum gave us instructions and we did it without any much questions only that we did more than she asked for. I was responsible to cut a branch of a tibadak/cempedak (jackfruit) tree. Because my mum's huge lime tree had recently fallen due to strong winds. and to ...

A few months ago, I introduced to you a mash up artist called Norwegian Recycling a.k.a Peter Bull. He is just awesome. Mash up are not remixes... I would love to share with you this specific mash up that he made in May. This was quite controversial because it has some copyright issues, but nevertheless this track made it to the airwaves on BBC Radio... This track is just brilliant... Cool huh? Another one from my favourite mash up artist... Loving it so much Norwegian Recycling - Viva La Viral from Peter Bull on Vimeo .

This blog has turned a little quiet, and I guess, I'm losing my readers. I do apologise for this... The honest truth is that, I'm trying as much not to write or repeat the same thing with my previous relationships and consequently making a fool of myself by saying one thing but doing the opposite. Oh yes, I do realise that, I'm not that ignorant. Sometimes, we couldn't follow through what we want in life, things just change so rapidly. I'd hate to shot my own foot my writing with my thoughts that was right at that point in time. Yes, those were just that, the right thoughts or the right frame of mind at that point in time. Not long after those things been said, I did the exact opposite. For example, I'm dating and now in a relationship. Relationship after I said I didn't want any. Ironic seems to be my middle name. Then again, one may have forgotten how ambivalent I can be. I recognise that I have a problem, which is my inability to say "No...

I've done my fair share of blind jealousy and suspicion of my lovers. And they have done the same to me. But this new... I don't know what it should be called, dare I say, relationship? Took jealousy and suspicion to another level. No one likes to be treated like some kind of criminal. No one likes to be suspected as a criminal. No one likes the second or third degree or any amount of degree, that is. Usually, at this point, I would have already run a mile from the first hint of jealousy and suspicion or should I add here, insecurities. But I'm afraid of running, I'm just way to tired for everything and anything. I'll work something out, and if it fails, it fails. I'm just tired. I'm not a teenager trying to work out a new relationship, I've been there, we all have been there, do we really want to repeat it again? Something has got to give sometimes. Give and take, that's all what it needs. But sometimes, in this new 'journey' I...

There are many things to update, but I'll just update you on just the essentials. I have been offshore on Monday. That was a tiring trip. I started my day as normal, and just when I was about to reach KB which is more than an hour drive from home, I received a phone call from my colleague announcing that he couldn't make it for his crew change because he was not feeling well. If you had been an avid reader, I am a relief for my colleague. So I called my supervisor, and he told me that my flight offshore will be at 4 freaking afternoon, so I had to made my way back home again to pack my stuff, bear in mind, home is another hour trip back. To add salt to the injury, apparently there were an accident involving six cars, and I had to use a long way round to get home. I packed my stuff only to realize that most of my undergarments and shorts are still at the laundry, I had to run around like a headless chicken. I didn't even had time to have breakfast, fortunately, when I...