Kellaz, A Journal

Wednesday, I was woken up by a few text messages from my new friend, and also from my best friend/relative/almost brother, Sulaiman for lunch. He was in town to attend an award ceremony at Vocational Nakhoda Ragam. He and a colleague, also a good friend came by and treated them both lunch. I also learnt during the lunch that one of our colleague got into a self accident and went through surgery to straighten his neck bone. It sounds scary. In fact he had the accident a few days before mine. I'm even more traumatic now. After lunch I went back home to chill out whilst waiting for my time to go on air, all of the top ten 60secs DJ were called for a quick interview. Actually we were supposed to come early for training and go for the on-air interview and leave. But my mentor couldn't make it, so he told me to come for training after on-air instead. I arrived at RTB and all of us convene into the meeting room whilst waiting for the studio to get ready to receive us. I got the second...

Okey as usual, another itinerary of my life. I woke up quite early because a newly acquainted friend called me. I was still fast asleep at that time, when I woke up and realised I missed a call and a text message I called back. We talked about half an hour. It was a really enjoyable chit chat. It's really nice to get to know new friends. I woke up for breakfast, which consist of Nicotine and Caffeine. But since the rest of the house is about to wake up, I retreat on my bed, and took some snooze. I woke up again at about 11am and did some errands and had lunch by myself. I saw some pity eyes on me, but I am immune to that now. It's great being single. It really is. I love it. And after that, my boss called me, to ask me a few things about work, looks like my leave is approved but to certain hint of reluctance. I wrote an email to my boss last weekend, apologising for my behaviour. It is my bad, I know, I should have not brought my personal problems into work. But sometimes it is...

Monday, woke up early, had breakfast with my housemates and Amir, for Murtabak breakfast at Amanah Harith in Jerudong. They specialise in Malaysian cuisine, and it's good food, guareented (well, most of the time). I came home after that to cleaned my room and rotated my bed because I felt I have been having difficulty sleeping. Perhaps it's just psychology or bad feng-shui, I slept well using with the new layout. and also presto... more space in my room. Washed up all my sweat and got ready for the 60 Second DJ. We had a blast. One mentor was brainwashing us, really 'washed' our brains. A lot of positive feedbacks from her. It is apparent that she wanted us to do our best and by which possible everityone to win the competition. The rehearsal went well. There were a few Bruneian celebrities and I felt cool to be hanging out with them. Sharing the same space or air. Yes, yes, I'm one of those people. I know that they're just local singers and performers, but it i...

Such a relaxing Sunday, tomorrow is still a holiday for me. It's great. Nothing much happened today, watched a Vantage Point with a friend at the Qlap Mall, and it was okey. It's a little, just a little boring, because of the repetition. What repetition? Ahh, that one you're gonna have to watch it yourself. Had dinner at Fratini's taking advantage of the 50% discount in conjunction with the National Day with a few friends. It went down well. Burp! Everything is pretty simple today. No stress. Not much in my mind. Which is good. At this moment. I need to concerntrate on me. My well being. Hopefully I will be a new man next week. I am taking leave this week, to rejuvenate myself. Accepting everything that has happened to me. And setting up myself back on my own two feet. I'm contempt about today. Everyday, should be a Simple Sunday. Until then, Adios Amigos and Amigas...

Yesterday, I spent the whole night alone. Went shopping for detergent and a plastic ware to put the detergent in, because I have not done any laundry since I have moved in my new place. I went to my little sanctuary at Food Zone, Gadong Properties, to have a teh tarik and my favourite drink V-Soy. So I sat there alone, just gazing at the muted TV, whilst music from a channel in Astro, I think it was Hitz FM blaring out. Before I got seated, I saw my college friend, whom I haven't seen for a couple of years. I went to his wedding, a few years before, he works in the Army as an officer. He asked me if I am still teaching. he quickly corrected himself, "No, no, you work in KB right?" He asked me a few things about my work, and wanted to contact someone from HSE (Health Safety and Environment) department regarding setting up such department in the Army. I gave him contacts who were also our college mates. And finally took my seat. He later yelled my name across the ta...

A few days ago, I read a blog from Simpur and saw most blogs have linked Gokil's blog , so curious, I clicked and read his blog about 'Welcome to My life' and I felt it. I downloaded the song and heard it. And thought, yeah, I feel you, I get you... I can relate. In fact, it's almost saying 'Welcome to Kellaz's Life'... Sad! And then, as if, like there is a replying my feeling, while I was reading his blog, on MTV was playing 'OneRepublic - Stop and Stare'. And I downloaded that too... I feel like these songs are entertaining my broken soul. OneRepublic - Stop And Stare This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust I've got my heart set on anywhere but here I'm staring down myself, counting up the years Steady hands, just take the wheel... And every glance is killing me Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead Stop and stare I think I'm moving but I go now...

Yes, you guess right... Woke up very very late, despite sleeping early last night. I don't know what is happening to me... I feel a little depressed. I feel a little pressured by my life. I am suppose to go to work and apply for my leave today. But guess I will home to do it during the weekend. I got a feeling that my boss is mad pissed at me, for not even informing him that I am not coming to work. I feel so tired lately. I feel useless. I feel empty. I have got this spare time to do anything I want but instead I just loiter around and sleep. Yup, classical signs of depression. I know I have my DJ thingy to concerntrate on. But somehow, I feel I couldn't be bothered. I know I should panic that my script is not done yet. But I am not, a little distressed, yes, but I feel not much worry. Okey maybe just a little bit. I want to apply for my leave next week because I need a rest. Rest from my routine and daily life and start to live my life for a bit. Yes, I live my life everyday,...