Break Up... Again...
No, not with a new one, but still with my OH. I don't know if anyone could break up with one person twice while still on a break up. But apparently I did and have.
After my recent break up with my OH, it was a mutual understanding that the both of us to remain as friends. Which is fair enough. But yesterday, I got a nasty message from my OH that, I am really really breaking up with my OH after reading my previous post of a pseudo date that I had. I was very confused. Is there such thing as breaking up and a really really breaking up?
My best friend and confidante told me that I have broken the etiquette of the breaking up process by dating immediately while the wound is still fresh. Well, my first thought was, is there an etiquette of post break up? Do I have to sit around and wait for, well, absolutely nothing post break up? It wasn't even a real date, so I thought, what was the fuss all about?! My best friend even told me another thing, which made real sense to me, he said, "probably, you didn't treat the relationship as serious as your other half". Yes. I agree but disagree at the same time. I agree in the sense that this was what had happened to me with regards to YKW. YKW 'dated' too soon after our relationship became as 'friends' and I couldn't handle it. To that extent, yes I do agree. But the part that I disagree is that I never took this relationship lightly. I even said at one post, that my OH was almost as good as YKW.
I guess, in a way, I do understand where my OH is coming from, because I have been there, I suppose I should have been more sensitive to my OH's feelings... Then again, if I think about it. my OH i.e. other half is now obsolete, because we're no longer together. So from this onward, I will use an initial CA. Anyway, we are both too busy to discuss about our relationship or friendship or what ever that is left of us, and we're putting things off for a while, to cool things down and maybe in the nearest future, talk things through. But for one thing for sure, I don't want to be in a relationship again. But I can't promise that I won't. Because things do happen and irony seems to be my favourite friend.
So anyway, until then...
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Yes, my best friend also said the same thing that CA might probably be trying to save the relationship. But it is not just about love. Love is inarguable. There is love and still some left. But the thing is, I just couldn't comprehend the CA's personality. CA's mind is very narrow and cocooned. And wouldn't want anyone come near. Perhaps that's not much of a problem, but almost two months later, in all seriousness, I have no clue WHO CA really is.
Sure change may take some time. But I guess, I'm impatient at waiting for results. But the mind kept wondering. When will it happen... I need someone to be open with me and importantly honest. I know CA loves me, but love alone does not make the world go round. Thus, love alone, cannot save the world.