Neglect

This time, I'm not going to talk about relationships but more of family ties.

Last night was the first night I slept at my parents after almost 5 years due to a family feud. It was not so much about the feud, but more of none speaking terms with them. Why, lets not delve into that. I slept there, not because I wanted to, but I was uber-tired. There were a lot of things I got done by myself, kudos to me, of course, but I notice one thing about my parent's house. It's full of neglect. There are two men living there, sometimes three (if you count my sister's boyfriend one after another!), but only one really care of doing DIY jobs at my parents house, so I guess after so long, I guess he was also tired of doing the same thing year after year. He is my brother-in-law. But not long as ramadan came, he was called to work offshore, and only yesterday he came back due to a family emergency. The emergency was that his father had a stroke and just when was about to board the chopper back home, his family called and his dad was announced dead. He is devastated. Although his father is a non-muslim, I feel for his loss. Not that religion counts, but anyone who have lost their father would be. So for him and his family, they wouldn't be celebrating Eid as everyone, as it is their customs, they cannot celebrate any type of celebration until after 40 days.

Sunday would be the funeral, and if Eid falls on Sunday, my sister wouldn't be able to join us. So anyway, talking about neglect. My parent's house, is falling apart, it is starting to show it's age, it's been nearly about 20 years since my parents have stayed in that house, a lot of things need to get done. I feel sorry for them, I feel sorry for the house. But manpower is all I can provide for now. Last night when I was sleeping, I saw my mum staring at me from across the living room where I slept. I think I was snoring, and at one point I think I was sleep talking. I don't snore or sleep talk in my sleep, but if I am very very tired, I sometime do. And my nieces and nephews, for the past week or so, I've been analysing by observing them. I find my nieces and nephews lack discipline. They ignore all instructions and they talk back to their mum and their grandmother. My sister told me that ever since I came over and scold them a lot, they have been acting much better than before. But every time I leave, "all hell let loose", she said.

My guess is, my nieces and nephews lack male role model in their lives, so they just walk over and think they could get away with anything despite the daily scream and yells from their mother. Their father is not around much, as he works offshore up to 4-5 weeks at one rotation. So I guess that is why they lack discipline. Somehow it feels that it is up to me to keep things intact again, I feel like I'm falling into the same 'trap' again. Okay, before anybody thinks that I am selfish, I have done this before, befriended my family, become their life saver and then spit at me for a thank you. It's just like them. It's normal for them, the more you help them, the more you will be deemed as the bad guy. I'm used to this. It's just that, I care for them, but sometimes you can't always care for them, even if you could. It is like that saying in malay, "until they got knocked on the head, they won't understand". It's like a small child when you tell them that the kettle is hot, they would still touch it, until when they experienced it, then they will learn and never do it again. It's the same analogy.

Perhaps, I could be around often for them, but not that often, just to keep an eye. There are a lot of 'hidden' problems in the house, mostly financial, but I guess, I'll just keep an open ear instead... So there are still a lot of things need doing... I better get as much rest as I can... Until then...