Personality Clash, Silence and Break Up

This was written yesterday, but it seems that I could never finish it... I'm having a hard time... but anyway, here's my update so far...

For the past four days, we have been on silence treatment. And the silence were deafening for me. For a couple of days the petty arguement turned huge. Many harsh words were said by the both of us. And today. We finally call it quits today.

I'm feeling down about it. It was actually a risky test, I broke it off and asked if it was agreed. I thought, my OH would fight for us, and make things right. But no. It didn't go as what I had thought in my head. So here I am. Single again. Loving it? Not really. I'm pretty bummed about it. Seriously. I'm very sad.

Although it came from a petty argument, as one of my friends said to me that it's not about the issue itself, but more about the personality and if it is compatible to our personality, and seeing everything as a whole, as a relationship. Of course, we're not looking for the same personality but more of a compensating personality, just like the left and the right hand, they are opposite, but it makes a good clasp. Somehow I sound like I'm justifying the break up. But I'm not.

I have been very bad boyfriend to my OH, to be honest. I've shouted, I've mocked my OH during big arguements and I've been quick to judge my OH for the many many things. But that was done out of bad temper, but I did apologise and ask for forgiveness. I know I have to tend my nasty temper. But there are times when I get so worked up, I just lose it. So with this break up, I do admit that I have no patience for my OH.