Trauma
Remember in my last post? There was a post-script (p.s) at the end?
Sensitivity have reduced to absolute chaos. Here's the story, and I'll write it as a child's book. Let's just say, there's a male monkey and a female monkey. Male monkey had made female monkey sick and was treated in monkey hospital. The tribe of this female monkey calls male monkey to face up what had happened. Male monkey asked monkey me to help him face up. Male monkey faced up. Problem is, this male monkey... is married. This story, ends there. But... a few days later wife monkey found out. And whole hell broke lose.
I am merely the observer here. I feel bad for wife monkey, I feel I am an accessory to the crime male monkey had made. I know wife monkey very well. Fortunately, I think, (an assumption) wife monkey is not mad at me. I've made my peace with wife monkey. Nevertheless, being part of this parody, I feel bad. I feel traumatic for some reason.
It's a terrible tragedy. And this is one of the reason, I shy away or fear marriage. No, no, don't get me wrong. Of course, I'm not put off by it, no. Look at me, let alone a marriage, I can't even hold a single relationship more than two months, worse still two weeks. So I know, it is hard. Relationship is hard. But marriage is beyond hard, beyond difficult... Sometimes it makes no sense at all. Unfathomable at the very extreme.
Speaking of relationship, I actually was in courtship for the past few days. No, no, not a date, well maybe, it was a cyber-date. We got to know from the internet, flirted, at first it was harmless. Then the flirt got serious. Words like "I like you" begins to crop up. We started to learn about each other by chatting and well, texting even. There were even a few giggling moments, which made me feel like some pathetic school girl. Then, it hit me, I'll say it before and I'll say it again... "It's too good to be true". My cyber-date was already taken. Damn, I thought to myself. The good ones are always taken... Fortunate for me, my cyber date confessed. Although my cyber date also confessed that the relationship is a little shaky at the moment.
Little was gain, and fortunately nothing was lost. It was a good amusement for me. For my tiny little lonely heart. (I'm not seeking sympathy.) I thought to myself, I nearly fell for it. But I gave advices, that may or may not be taken. Because I hate to see people get separated if it is just mere differences. Tolerances, compensation and comprehension is all it takes. Otherwise, it will fall into the same fate. It made me look back at my relationship. Particularly YKW. As that was the most meaningful relationship that I ever had. It was real. It was good. Was. Past tense. Depressing. The truth is, I've been thinking a lot about YKW lately. I don't know why, but at my lowest depressing thoughts, YKW came to my head, and it made me happy again, although it was more of mixed feelings... Happy, even feeling giddy but depressing and miserable, some sadness and regret, everything, all at the same time. It's funny more than anything, really. Or perhaps, I wanted it to be funny. Hey, laughing and smiling about it helps. Remember?
So anyway, oh work! Yes, forgot to talk about work. The pace has swiftly shifted from slow moving to the speed of light. It was fun, but stressful, and it has been a while since I was 'that' busy. It's drastically pushing me up the learning curve. Fortunately it's more of recollection than learning... I had déjà vu all throughout the day, because these are the things I used to do before the made me into offshore CSR (Company Site Representative). Stressful but keeping me busy, pushes all of my depressing emotions and thoughts behind... And that's a good thing, I suppose. So things are looking pretty much up hill. But as up is concern... as they say, the higher they are, the harder the fall... or was it the bigger they are... Pah! Nevertheless... I guess let me imagine that things are looking up even if nothing has changed...
So much for ranting. Thanks for reading or listening... Catch up with you soon, my dear readers... The blog's kindda quiet lately... hmm?
Until then...
Sensitivity have reduced to absolute chaos. Here's the story, and I'll write it as a child's book. Let's just say, there's a male monkey and a female monkey. Male monkey had made female monkey sick and was treated in monkey hospital. The tribe of this female monkey calls male monkey to face up what had happened. Male monkey asked monkey me to help him face up. Male monkey faced up. Problem is, this male monkey... is married. This story, ends there. But... a few days later wife monkey found out. And whole hell broke lose.
I am merely the observer here. I feel bad for wife monkey, I feel I am an accessory to the crime male monkey had made. I know wife monkey very well. Fortunately, I think, (an assumption) wife monkey is not mad at me. I've made my peace with wife monkey. Nevertheless, being part of this parody, I feel bad. I feel traumatic for some reason.
It's a terrible tragedy. And this is one of the reason, I shy away or fear marriage. No, no, don't get me wrong. Of course, I'm not put off by it, no. Look at me, let alone a marriage, I can't even hold a single relationship more than two months, worse still two weeks. So I know, it is hard. Relationship is hard. But marriage is beyond hard, beyond difficult... Sometimes it makes no sense at all. Unfathomable at the very extreme.
Speaking of relationship, I actually was in courtship for the past few days. No, no, not a date, well maybe, it was a cyber-date. We got to know from the internet, flirted, at first it was harmless. Then the flirt got serious. Words like "I like you" begins to crop up. We started to learn about each other by chatting and well, texting even. There were even a few giggling moments, which made me feel like some pathetic school girl. Then, it hit me, I'll say it before and I'll say it again... "It's too good to be true". My cyber-date was already taken. Damn, I thought to myself. The good ones are always taken... Fortunate for me, my cyber date confessed. Although my cyber date also confessed that the relationship is a little shaky at the moment.
Little was gain, and fortunately nothing was lost. It was a good amusement for me. For my tiny little lonely heart. (I'm not seeking sympathy.) I thought to myself, I nearly fell for it. But I gave advices, that may or may not be taken. Because I hate to see people get separated if it is just mere differences. Tolerances, compensation and comprehension is all it takes. Otherwise, it will fall into the same fate. It made me look back at my relationship. Particularly YKW. As that was the most meaningful relationship that I ever had. It was real. It was good. Was. Past tense. Depressing. The truth is, I've been thinking a lot about YKW lately. I don't know why, but at my lowest depressing thoughts, YKW came to my head, and it made me happy again, although it was more of mixed feelings... Happy, even feeling giddy but depressing and miserable, some sadness and regret, everything, all at the same time. It's funny more than anything, really. Or perhaps, I wanted it to be funny. Hey, laughing and smiling about it helps. Remember?
So anyway, oh work! Yes, forgot to talk about work. The pace has swiftly shifted from slow moving to the speed of light. It was fun, but stressful, and it has been a while since I was 'that' busy. It's drastically pushing me up the learning curve. Fortunately it's more of recollection than learning... I had déjà vu all throughout the day, because these are the things I used to do before the made me into offshore CSR (Company Site Representative). Stressful but keeping me busy, pushes all of my depressing emotions and thoughts behind... And that's a good thing, I suppose. So things are looking pretty much up hill. But as up is concern... as they say, the higher they are, the harder the fall... or was it the bigger they are... Pah! Nevertheless... I guess let me imagine that things are looking up even if nothing has changed...
So much for ranting. Thanks for reading or listening... Catch up with you soon, my dear readers... The blog's kindda quiet lately... hmm?
Until then...
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