Continuation .. (Here We Go... Again)

Somethings are too good to be true.

Being able to start a relationship with a long lost crush is a great thing to be in. But as all relationships are, they need work. After two weeks, reality starts to set in, and we find ourself having petty arguments.

Reality sucks. My head over heels soon became a head on collision because of personality differences. The underlying issue is, would you still stand by the person you love if everything you stood for and believes are not accepted by them? The personality clash that we have are at the far end extremes. And sometimes it feels like I am the only one working on the relationship. Is love alone enough? Does love conquer all? Does it?

However, I'm not quitting just yet. Yes, at certain level, love does conquer certain areas of the relationship. But on other parts, we just have to work on it. And I'm pretty sure, the work I'm about to embark on, is no easy feat. Both of us are stubborn, and both of us had ego as big as the universe. Neither are budging, Throughout our short introduction, I have gone low enough to find the middle ground, but it seems that the work only comes from me. Recently, in aa recent argument, I shouted how self-centered and self-righteous my other half was. It was a very bad argument. But in the end, we both settled down by talking things out. It looks like there is hope, but I won't be keeping my bets at this point in time. I've been through this before and I don't intend to repeat the same mistakes again. So it could be a make or break time.

Other than that, the estate that I was about to purchase have seen some light of day. Last week, I talked to the landlady and explained my situation with the bank recently. Fortunately, she understood and was willing to wait for the money. And I am expecting for the approval letter today, which slipped my mind, by the way. I was consumed with work today, that I forgot to follow up with the bank. I will be doing that tomorrow, that's for sure.

The previous paragraphs were written yesterday Monday (02-10-2009). And I'm writing this today, Tuesday, oh no, it has passed midnight, so technically, today is Wednesday.

A few things had happened and I've been trying too keep it out from this blog. But honestly, I'm not happy. I'm not happy in my new relationship. It's very hard. I just don't know where to begin. Yesterday, we were supposed to meet on Monday night, but my other half cancelled on the last minute and it got me really upset. And no apology was given, I do understand that my other half was busy, but isn't it out of courtesy even as friends to apologise for canceling on the last minute? I don't know, sometimes, I think that my other half, has such a big ego and very arrogant that it was just taken for granted. Or perhaps, I'm just over-reacting. Both of us did not text message each other all day long, (I was relatively busy today anyway). So at close of business at work today, I sent a message, just containing "Hru?' (short for "How are you?") All I got for a reply was "Fine." And that was it!

I texted back, basically saying two can play this game. My other half texted back saying "I am not playing games, stop saying that, please". The thing that pisses the hell out of me, is I hate to be taken for granted. I keep saying to myself, I deserve more. There are some people out there, who are my friends who treat me better than my other half. I feel like quitting this relationship. Why? Because I'm not happy. I am very sad and upset with my other half.

I feel like this relationship is pulling me backwards. I don't feel like I've achieve something out of this relationship other than heartache. I don't know, maybe my other half have really bad social etiquette or naive in relationships. But I feel like this is a game more than it is a relationship. Mind games. Such an awful game. I've done my fair share of mind games. And I don't intend to play them anymore. I don't know. I really don't know what to think anymore with this relationship. Stay and persevere or run like hell? The give you a picture of how awful this relationship is, in just over two weeks, we had almost broken up twice (in one night). I feel very depressed about it. I'm ignoring my other half's text messages, because right now, I'm thinking (really) about calling it quits. I deserve more. I deserve better. I deserve to be treated fairly. That's all.

So anyway, updates on my estate, I called up the bank today. The bank officer that 'handled' my mortgage loan, nicknamed 'Jaz', told me that, there's some delay on the approval side, because there's only one credit approval officer working this week due to the holiday season coming soon, by the end of this year. I asked her to follow up on that, and to give me a call tomorrow (that's today!), as soon as she hears anything from them. Somehow I feel nervous about it. I really wanted to get this thing over and done with. Just tonight I had my third meeting with my architect, and saw my first draft of my house layout. I've written some comments on the piece of paper, no, the comments are more on enhancement and wish list that I would love to have.

Okay, I guess this post will have to get another 'continuation' because my eyes, is really really tired, it's almost at the point of getting my eyes crossed... I really need to get some rest... I have not been feeling so good lately.... I spy a flu coming in soon... I'm stocking myself up with medicine... so anyway... to be continued... no time to proof read this post...