Dilemma with Obvious Results
Note: This post was written, I can't even remember when I started writing this, it was a few days ago... maybe, 4 days ago? But anyway, I'm going to continue on this post...
We've learnt from the monkey story. We've learnt from experience. We've learnt from observation. We've learnt from others. We've learnt from advices that was given to us. We've learnt from examples. We've learnt about it all.
But yet we repeat the same mistakes. Why am I on about this? Well, I am about to embark on an dilemma with obvious consequences. I think I know the ending, I may know the result, but yet, I find myself drawn into this dilemma. I once said, stupidity is best defined as consciously making the same mistake again and again. So am I being stupid? I am referring to the flirt. I somehow find myself being drawn into it. I can't seem to stop thinking about my flirt. If you can recall, the one I'm flirting with is already taken, although their relationship is shaky at the current moment. But it still doesn't give me the justification to dwell into the flirt. Does it? I don't know... but I did say to my flirt that I shall not be the reason if they broke up. I won't have it on my blood. But then again, is that wishful thinking? Or perhaps, I should just move away from this flirt. Break away. And let them sort everything themselves?
Perhaps, deep in my heart, I was thinking about what ifs? I guess, some of you would have guessed right, to leave those two and sort things out and come in if ever the coast is clear.
And now, I'm writing this in the present...
The previous post, as I have mention was written for quite a while but work has been very hectic, so I couldn't finish what I started and now... I have time, because? I'm offshore! Again! I know I've said like a broken record that I won't be offshore no more, but alas, I have to succumb to my boss's order. "There's no one else, the campaign shutdown is starting, everyone is preparing for their campaign, if not you, who else?" I could have just said "well, you're the boss, it's not my problem, I've told you that I wanted out of this team since November... very ample time for you to act about it". I'm trying to do this one little favour for one very last time, but I gave a stern warning that this WILL be the last one. My boss and my supervisor agreed. No, I don't hate working offshore, it's just that, my life has significantly become dull ever since I worked offshore, my work performance was bad, my love life, I'm not going to even start on that! I am not one to point a finger to blame, but I think I've lost about 4 relationships because of this.
And seriously, I don't want to lose this flirt. Okay, just a quick update, yes, I'm still playing with fire. And I'm not scared of getting burned. But at the moment, I am bracing myself really good, because as I have written earlier, I know the ending of this story. So why move forward with it? Well, I think I'm beginning to like my cyber flirt. Not the flirting itself but the person. And I think my cyber flirt likes me too. I'm not really sure where this is heading, but, I'm just going with the flow... I'm sure that if the my flirt have patched their relationship up, I will be quickly forgotten. And I'm fine with that. Really. I know I'm not desperately lonely, I've made sure of that. I know I'm not seeking for drama, because honest from the bottom of my heart, I'm sick of it. It is just that, I like my cyber flirt. And I'm going to keep it as a flirt, well a flirt could lead to something serious, but then again, a flirt is a flirt! No? Argue with me...
The thing is, I'm trying not to think too much and over analysing it. This can turn harmless or become a painful heartbreak. But I'm ready to brace myself for both circumstances. But I still need to think to know what I will be facing. I'm not hopeful. The truth is, I'm more in a blurry state right now. I guess, my mind and my heart is numb. Anyway, a flirt is a flirt right? And we'll leave it to that... We move on... right?
Anyway, it is late, and I am a little tired, thus I shall make an exit from this post. Until then...
We've learnt from the monkey story. We've learnt from experience. We've learnt from observation. We've learnt from others. We've learnt from advices that was given to us. We've learnt from examples. We've learnt about it all.
But yet we repeat the same mistakes. Why am I on about this? Well, I am about to embark on an dilemma with obvious consequences. I think I know the ending, I may know the result, but yet, I find myself drawn into this dilemma. I once said, stupidity is best defined as consciously making the same mistake again and again. So am I being stupid? I am referring to the flirt. I somehow find myself being drawn into it. I can't seem to stop thinking about my flirt. If you can recall, the one I'm flirting with is already taken, although their relationship is shaky at the current moment. But it still doesn't give me the justification to dwell into the flirt. Does it? I don't know... but I did say to my flirt that I shall not be the reason if they broke up. I won't have it on my blood. But then again, is that wishful thinking? Or perhaps, I should just move away from this flirt. Break away. And let them sort everything themselves?
Perhaps, deep in my heart, I was thinking about what ifs? I guess, some of you would have guessed right, to leave those two and sort things out and come in if ever the coast is clear.
And now, I'm writing this in the present...
The previous post, as I have mention was written for quite a while but work has been very hectic, so I couldn't finish what I started and now... I have time, because? I'm offshore! Again! I know I've said like a broken record that I won't be offshore no more, but alas, I have to succumb to my boss's order. "There's no one else, the campaign shutdown is starting, everyone is preparing for their campaign, if not you, who else?" I could have just said "well, you're the boss, it's not my problem, I've told you that I wanted out of this team since November... very ample time for you to act about it". I'm trying to do this one little favour for one very last time, but I gave a stern warning that this WILL be the last one. My boss and my supervisor agreed. No, I don't hate working offshore, it's just that, my life has significantly become dull ever since I worked offshore, my work performance was bad, my love life, I'm not going to even start on that! I am not one to point a finger to blame, but I think I've lost about 4 relationships because of this.
And seriously, I don't want to lose this flirt. Okay, just a quick update, yes, I'm still playing with fire. And I'm not scared of getting burned. But at the moment, I am bracing myself really good, because as I have written earlier, I know the ending of this story. So why move forward with it? Well, I think I'm beginning to like my cyber flirt. Not the flirting itself but the person. And I think my cyber flirt likes me too. I'm not really sure where this is heading, but, I'm just going with the flow... I'm sure that if the my flirt have patched their relationship up, I will be quickly forgotten. And I'm fine with that. Really. I know I'm not desperately lonely, I've made sure of that. I know I'm not seeking for drama, because honest from the bottom of my heart, I'm sick of it. It is just that, I like my cyber flirt. And I'm going to keep it as a flirt, well a flirt could lead to something serious, but then again, a flirt is a flirt! No? Argue with me...
The thing is, I'm trying not to think too much and over analysing it. This can turn harmless or become a painful heartbreak. But I'm ready to brace myself for both circumstances. But I still need to think to know what I will be facing. I'm not hopeful. The truth is, I'm more in a blurry state right now. I guess, my mind and my heart is numb. Anyway, a flirt is a flirt right? And we'll leave it to that... We move on... right?
Anyway, it is late, and I am a little tired, thus I shall make an exit from this post. Until then...
Comments
Y stop there? Fire only? Try acid too!!! get all dat hanky panky tools n gadget into d show time, n fugg d hell out of em free flow heaven juices.....hahaha.....d world is urs for d taking so dun STOP....show dat skills, or perhaps ur losing it huh? Lust last longer yunno...well im sure u wud know dat even better rite...playa all d way till it juices no more? hohoho....grab a stout!!! stir not shaken or shud it b shake it all d way? have u found urself a manager to cut a role in a movie of ur life? ...wanna one? ole ole ole brunei!
Thanks for the encouragement and laughter as I suppose you would know I needed. But yeah, you're right... It's time to keep my word for once and keep doing it.
But I'd hate to be a party pooper, I've been there and done all of that... and perhaps, you're right to take it to a higher level. A much kinkier level. Only that, if I'm to play the game, the other party should get their freak on as well. But if hearts are concerned, that just spoils the fun. To me, have fun but I'd hate to take prisoners.
This fling that I'm having... has somewhat emotional attachments to the fun, so it's a no go. But fear not, let's divert this fling, and catch a new one.
You're offering to manage my new role in my movie? Bring it on! LOL