To Flee or Not To Flee
I truly do apologise for my lack of updates recently. Life have been treating me good, but no really, I fell sick last Thursday and Friday because my tonsils flared up again. I guess, when I was in Bangkok, I admit to smoke more than the usual. My tonsils have flared up ever since I came back from Bangkok, but I tried to succumb the infection by taking in painkillers but I guess, it was inevitable.
So with my long break, I had a long weekend. At the moment, I am going through a crossroad. Relationship are never easy. It can be daunting. My latest relationship is going through some personality incompatibility. Don't get me wrong we're still madly in love, but there are times we find ourselves into a quarrel or argument. I guess, this is the phase when lovey dovey ends and the reality of the relationship begins. It is bad in my case as I tend to go back to my old habit, which is my own stubbornness. And I like to think that this 'argument phase' is a normal part of the journey in achieving a stable relationship. But then again, where does it stop? I mean, where does the fine line exist between achieving relationship stability and your own integrity. Will you change yourself for the sake of the relationship?
I know I am not perfect, or even close to the word and I do know there is a lot of things that I need to change, positive changes, that is. But what if (if it is ever possible) that the positive changes are not you, or is not part of you, or you are not ready for it? Would you change your spouse's attitude or behaviour? Or in another sense, would you change (positive changes) for the sake of the relationship? I find myself bouncing for one opinion to another and failing to find the middle way or a compromise.
Then again, if there is personality clashes between you and your spouse? Would you change your personality to suit the relationship? Would that be lying to yourself or is it merely trying to make things work? Will the relationship work, if we have to work for it? Or should be all or any relationship just require unconditional love. Where would you stand? Or would you crumble and run away? I do have leaking thoughts of just dumping the relationship and carry on as where I was. But that is a coward's way of dealing with things. But sometimes, I thought to myself, am I fixing something that couldn't be fixed?
I guess, there should be some sort of compromise between any two lovers, but what if either one of them doesn't want to? Because perhaps it is against something they stood by? I guess, I'll see if the saying "love stands strong" does ring true or not...
On a personal note, last weekend, I called up my siblings and we had a mini belated birthday celebration for my sister-in-law. Well, it was not planned to celebrate it, I just missed my brothers' and sisters' company and brought them out for dinner. After that I treated them to a midnight movie. We watched "Jangan Tegur" (nearest translation "Be Silent") which is a ghost movie. For a malay ghost movie, although mediocre at certain point, but it did bring out the suspense and by far the best malay ghost movie so far. The story line and plot was a little too predictable but the malay ghost movie industry (if such exist), did bring the movie experience to another level. There's not much to say actually. Life's tolerable I suppose. Work still sucks and I'm gaining weight fast. LOL. That's it really, until then, take care. Ciao!
So with my long break, I had a long weekend. At the moment, I am going through a crossroad. Relationship are never easy. It can be daunting. My latest relationship is going through some personality incompatibility. Don't get me wrong we're still madly in love, but there are times we find ourselves into a quarrel or argument. I guess, this is the phase when lovey dovey ends and the reality of the relationship begins. It is bad in my case as I tend to go back to my old habit, which is my own stubbornness. And I like to think that this 'argument phase' is a normal part of the journey in achieving a stable relationship. But then again, where does it stop? I mean, where does the fine line exist between achieving relationship stability and your own integrity. Will you change yourself for the sake of the relationship?
I know I am not perfect, or even close to the word and I do know there is a lot of things that I need to change, positive changes, that is. But what if (if it is ever possible) that the positive changes are not you, or is not part of you, or you are not ready for it? Would you change your spouse's attitude or behaviour? Or in another sense, would you change (positive changes) for the sake of the relationship? I find myself bouncing for one opinion to another and failing to find the middle way or a compromise.
Then again, if there is personality clashes between you and your spouse? Would you change your personality to suit the relationship? Would that be lying to yourself or is it merely trying to make things work? Will the relationship work, if we have to work for it? Or should be all or any relationship just require unconditional love. Where would you stand? Or would you crumble and run away? I do have leaking thoughts of just dumping the relationship and carry on as where I was. But that is a coward's way of dealing with things. But sometimes, I thought to myself, am I fixing something that couldn't be fixed?
I guess, there should be some sort of compromise between any two lovers, but what if either one of them doesn't want to? Because perhaps it is against something they stood by? I guess, I'll see if the saying "love stands strong" does ring true or not...
On a personal note, last weekend, I called up my siblings and we had a mini belated birthday celebration for my sister-in-law. Well, it was not planned to celebrate it, I just missed my brothers' and sisters' company and brought them out for dinner. After that I treated them to a midnight movie. We watched "Jangan Tegur" (nearest translation "Be Silent") which is a ghost movie. For a malay ghost movie, although mediocre at certain point, but it did bring out the suspense and by far the best malay ghost movie so far. The story line and plot was a little too predictable but the malay ghost movie industry (if such exist), did bring the movie experience to another level. There's not much to say actually. Life's tolerable I suppose. Work still sucks and I'm gaining weight fast. LOL. That's it really, until then, take care. Ciao!
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