Rebooting My Emotions
There will be plenty of times when I can get overwhelmed by my own emotions.
And I've learnt a new skill lately, which is rebooting my emotional system. And put it into blur mode. It works wonders. Separating my emotional thinking and using my rational thinking instead, but in the background the emotional thinking running. Does that make sense?
I've learnt to be 'there' (i.e. with SA) yet keeping myself at pace, bracing myself for any sudden halt. And so far, there haven't been any. I've confessed and confided my emotions with SA. But yet SA kept everything at bay. But SA have been giving positive signals and feedback lately. I would be lying if I say I had no hopes. I do. I am hoping that SA would reciprocate my feelings. Yeah, if you think high hopes, that stands true as well. But I am always at standby mode to brace myself to cushion my heartbreak if so happens.
But as the advice that came via comments, most of you reading, are right. And I know you're thinking the same, as most readers. To take it slow and keeping pace with the changes. This thing or whatever you can call it, with SA is new to me actually. What I'm feeling for SA is new to me. It is different than every other feelings that had with my previous engagement. For the first time I feel insignificant and I feel somewhat close of a beggar. A beggar for love. Sort of. It's weird, but when I receive positive vibes from SA, I feel a natural high. Most of the time, SA kept being neutral. In a way keeping me at bay sometimes, keeps me where I am supposed to be. There will be times when I become pushy perhaps, so that is the time I get my 'time out'.
So what's been going on with SA? Nothing much, we kept in contact, we see each other when there's time and kept our relationship as, I suppose, friends; for now. I've confessed that I wanted to be more than friends, but at the same time, telling SA that I'm willing to wait for SA to come out of the shell and confided back. I'm not expecting terrific news or for the wind to sweep off my feet, but at the same time, I'm not receiving bad news either. Just yet. But so far, so good. Practically nothing to report.
One thing I'm happy to report is that, tomorrow, I'll be signing my land deal. I'm uber excited. Uber psych about it. I'm one step closer to my dream home. I had engaged an architect, and the house plan is on going at the moment. Things are looking good. After so much arguing, screaming, shouting, heartaches, headaches and stress, finally it comes down to this. A step closer to the end of the rainbow. And I'm broke for the first time in many many years. Even I had to borrow money off my sister-n-law to spend for this week. I'm absolutely skint. The reason for this, I had to use all available funds to pay off the lawyers, otherwise I wouldn't be able to drawdown the funds to pay off the landowner/landlady. A little bump in the road for the smooth journey ahead is what I'd like to think. So bear in mind readers. Always have some money set aside, because there are always little bumps like this before you can be scot-free of you own estate. Which made me think that, going away offshore for the days to come doesn't hurt much. While offshore, everyday, no fiscal exchange will be made, my food will be available every day, my laundry will be washed by the caterers, my bed will be made by the room boys, and every night I'd be earning extra money. A win some - lose some kindda thing. What's lost, you may wonder... My life. Lifestyle I mean. It'll be work - eat - sleep routine.
While offshore as well, I'm planning to keep fit, since I have access to the gym. I'm thinking of joining the Brunei half marathon April 2010. Maybe. Not sure if 3-4 months is enough. Bear in mind, I haven't ran in almost 4 months now. Also I miss my slim figure. Right now, underneath my clothes... my body have literally gone pear shape. So yeah... Besides, my 32nd birthday is coming soon, so I'm thinking I wanna look my best for my birthday...
Besides, I've been thinking to make a photo shoot like Lara did a few weeks ago. And if I am to do that, I wanna look my best, and of course, most likely slim looking, and with the make up and clothes, hotter is what I'm looking for, so yeah... I'm thinking of all of these things, just that, if I could stop procrastinating and just get it on....
So far, that's it... Tomorrow will be the signing, a huge moment in my life. Oh, I mean today, since I'm writing this at freaking four in the morning. The signing will be at eight, four hours from now. So I should better get some sleep.
Until then...
And I've learnt a new skill lately, which is rebooting my emotional system. And put it into blur mode. It works wonders. Separating my emotional thinking and using my rational thinking instead, but in the background the emotional thinking running. Does that make sense?
I've learnt to be 'there' (i.e. with SA) yet keeping myself at pace, bracing myself for any sudden halt. And so far, there haven't been any. I've confessed and confided my emotions with SA. But yet SA kept everything at bay. But SA have been giving positive signals and feedback lately. I would be lying if I say I had no hopes. I do. I am hoping that SA would reciprocate my feelings. Yeah, if you think high hopes, that stands true as well. But I am always at standby mode to brace myself to cushion my heartbreak if so happens.
But as the advice that came via comments, most of you reading, are right. And I know you're thinking the same, as most readers. To take it slow and keeping pace with the changes. This thing or whatever you can call it, with SA is new to me actually. What I'm feeling for SA is new to me. It is different than every other feelings that had with my previous engagement. For the first time I feel insignificant and I feel somewhat close of a beggar. A beggar for love. Sort of. It's weird, but when I receive positive vibes from SA, I feel a natural high. Most of the time, SA kept being neutral. In a way keeping me at bay sometimes, keeps me where I am supposed to be. There will be times when I become pushy perhaps, so that is the time I get my 'time out'.
So what's been going on with SA? Nothing much, we kept in contact, we see each other when there's time and kept our relationship as, I suppose, friends; for now. I've confessed that I wanted to be more than friends, but at the same time, telling SA that I'm willing to wait for SA to come out of the shell and confided back. I'm not expecting terrific news or for the wind to sweep off my feet, but at the same time, I'm not receiving bad news either. Just yet. But so far, so good. Practically nothing to report.
One thing I'm happy to report is that, tomorrow, I'll be signing my land deal. I'm uber excited. Uber psych about it. I'm one step closer to my dream home. I had engaged an architect, and the house plan is on going at the moment. Things are looking good. After so much arguing, screaming, shouting, heartaches, headaches and stress, finally it comes down to this. A step closer to the end of the rainbow. And I'm broke for the first time in many many years. Even I had to borrow money off my sister-n-law to spend for this week. I'm absolutely skint. The reason for this, I had to use all available funds to pay off the lawyers, otherwise I wouldn't be able to drawdown the funds to pay off the landowner/landlady. A little bump in the road for the smooth journey ahead is what I'd like to think. So bear in mind readers. Always have some money set aside, because there are always little bumps like this before you can be scot-free of you own estate. Which made me think that, going away offshore for the days to come doesn't hurt much. While offshore, everyday, no fiscal exchange will be made, my food will be available every day, my laundry will be washed by the caterers, my bed will be made by the room boys, and every night I'd be earning extra money. A win some - lose some kindda thing. What's lost, you may wonder... My life. Lifestyle I mean. It'll be work - eat - sleep routine.
While offshore as well, I'm planning to keep fit, since I have access to the gym. I'm thinking of joining the Brunei half marathon April 2010. Maybe. Not sure if 3-4 months is enough. Bear in mind, I haven't ran in almost 4 months now. Also I miss my slim figure. Right now, underneath my clothes... my body have literally gone pear shape. So yeah... Besides, my 32nd birthday is coming soon, so I'm thinking I wanna look my best for my birthday...
Besides, I've been thinking to make a photo shoot like Lara did a few weeks ago. And if I am to do that, I wanna look my best, and of course, most likely slim looking, and with the make up and clothes, hotter is what I'm looking for, so yeah... I'm thinking of all of these things, just that, if I could stop procrastinating and just get it on....
So far, that's it... Tomorrow will be the signing, a huge moment in my life. Oh, I mean today, since I'm writing this at freaking four in the morning. The signing will be at eight, four hours from now. So I should better get some sleep.
Until then...
Comments
My baby & I are currently having this one project conversation for his skill development progress, hun... He kept on asking me to do Jane Smith & we've been doing our research & study from Mr. & Mrs. Smith movie. I've told my baby that the one person that I only have in mind suitable for an image to that of Mr. John Smith (Brad Pitt) is you. My baby was thinking bout hooking me up with Mr. Bond but I told him again & again that Mr. Bond does not have the right look & image for Mr. Smith right from the very top of his head down to his body build/frame and his height - he is too pretty & vogue for anything as adventurous as Mr. Smith. Your say?
Love always,
Lara Croft (^^,)
Mr Smith says lets... but will have to wait for a month to do the project LOL... will need to erm work out a little bit... if you're willing to wait, plus my hair would have grown perfectly at this time...