Can't Sleep

Hi there dear readers.

It's half past three in the morning, and I can't sleep.  I've been having a really difficult time trying to get to sleep recently.  I've tried everything, and I mean everything to get to sleep, but I find myself tossing and turning thinking about a blank thing hanging on my mind.  It's silly right?  A blank thing hanging in my mind.  If you can imagine a cloud of thoughts that you see in cartoons and such, it's a blank cloud, nothing... I'm imagining nothing.  But that nothingness is bugging me and it just won't go away.  Perhaps you don't get me, but that's as closest I've could describe it to you.

I've been thinking about my life lately, how much it sucks and how much it sucks.  You might think that I'm thinking negatively about my life, but believe it or not, thinking that it sucks, is as positive as it could be in my mind.  I'm bored off my mind here, I have no one to talk to.  Yeah I do, but I don't feel like bugging people, calling them to hear my pain...  And besides, there's no privacy here, and I don't want to spill my guts out for roommates to hear.  My roommates will think I'm much more pathetic than I already am.  I suppose you're are aware that I'm rambling here right?  Well you're not wrong.  I am rambling unnecessarily here.  

By the way I've change the song of this blog to Coldplay's The Scientist.  It's a relatively old song, but I've never really paid attention to this song.  I was lying here on the bed, listening to my iPod and this songs played, usually, I would just forward it, but I laid there staring at the ceiling and when I paid attention to the lyrics *wham!*bam*  I felt it.  I've also put the lyrics in, just in case you guys wanna sing along with me.  

It was a pity that I broke up with... (let's not go there), and I'm now back to the start.  Sigh!

Hey, by the way, it's November already...  Boy, how time flies, and I'm not even having fun.  And also signifies that Hari Raya is over.  I didn't get the full blown Raya this year, besides it isn't much anyways.  My Raya sucks, being offshore and my break up and breakdown and everything...  This has got the be the worst Raya ever.  And this would be I think, the third time I broke up in a relationship DURING Raya...  For non-malay speaking peeps who's reading this, Raya is Eid.  But if there's any consolation, I went back home to my family this Raya...  that was basically the highlight of my Raya.  And the rest, just melts in my memories...  

So anyway, it's almost 4a.m now, I should try again to go to bed.  Until then my dearest... XOXO... Journal Boy... I'm bored!

C'est La Vie...