Going Home?

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It is ironic to say I'm going home, because I don't have a home.  I have a place where I live in.  Housemates and all that.  But it's hardly my home.  Home is still a far off dream.  

Some people say, home is where the heart is.  But when my heart is broken, torn unrecognisably into small fragments...  Where is my home then?  I suppose, I'm homeless at this current point of my life.  I'm having a hard time just thinking about going home, secretly I don't want to go back onshore, but I'm bored as hell too here.  Well, bored is an overstatement.  I enjoy my time here being with Aiedee and what-not.  But it's work.  All work.

Since I'm coming back onshore tomorrow to attend a two-day course, I'll also be planning to go back to my place to pick some stuff up to bring to the course and to offshore again.  After that, a quick meet with Billy, then I'm back to KB (Kuala Belait) again.  I'm also off to buy a phone.  I've actually sold off my phone to my construction supervisor/roommate, Meling.  I've also sold my laptop too.  I'm planning to buy an Asus laptop, and use Windows Vista again.  I've been told by many Window Vista users that Vista has already fixed most of it's bugs and is running smoothly now.  So it's time to get my hands on Vista again.  One thing left to sell is my Canon 450D SLR camera, so if there is any interested parties who wants to buy a beginner's SLR camera, feel free to contact me.  I'm sure you can bargain.  It's still good as new though...  And the bidding begins.

Why am I selling my stuff?  Besides the fact that it reminds me fondly of my ermm YKW.  It's time to change to better things I suppose.  It is not that I don't cherish the memories of my previous relationship, it's just to painful to own.  I wanted to get rid of the things that reminds me of  YKW.  Some I will keep to cherish, but others, it's just too painful to own.  I can't expect anyone to understand, but I suppose this is my reluctant way to move on.  Even when I don't want to.  The truth is I'm not ready to move on.  The love I have inside my heart is still strong despite everything that had happened.  Besides, it wasn't me who wanted to move on so quickly, I suppose it was just bad timing, really bad timing.  And I was penalised for some technicality.  Bla bla bla... I'm bored... talking about this, it's making me depressed.  

But it's alright, I suppose.  Nevertheless moving on will have to be done.  And this are part and parcel of what I have to do to move on.  Each in their own way, I like to think.  Don't you agree?  So I suppose that's it from me now.  Until then, C'est la vie....  

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