WOW!!!

Thousands of apologies.  I do apologise sincerely and profusely for my lack of updates. 

I thought of having a great weekend...  And it turned out to be SUPERBLY FANTASTIC!!!  Fabulous, marvelous...  I feel like on top of the world.  

What was it that I do that could make one feel like that..?  I'm afraid I can't dwell into the details because I'm sure not all readers are open to my personal activities.  But I shall say this much to you.  I've been a very very bad bad boy!  LOL!!!  Within rational limitations, of course.  

I thought of ending my sorrow, stop wallowing in my depression by letting my hair down (which I literally did, by cropping all of my hair) and enjoy life as it is.  This feeling was after a long and strenuous deep thinking of my life lately.  I thought, I need to live more.  Life is short.  (And yes, Andie, I did say it was long... but that was literally speaking, but I think life is short to spend it miserably, yes).  I needed a pick up and just enjoy while I am still freaking breathing.  

(This blog was written way to long ago....)

Today is Thursday, 11th December 2008...

I never did able to finish this post.  So I am trying... (with Tina at the background, chatting on MSN).   A lot of things happened...  I've finally moved out (but not fully settled in yet)... but it was more of... I moved in and then moved out to move in, only to move out again...   Billy, my best friend in the whole wide world, got cold feet the day I moved in.  I haven't stayed in his house only to get kicked out again...  Well, he didn't kick me out, but it was a kick out, nevertheless.  I understood and totally respect his decision to retract his offer, but I just wished he had chosen to say so, before I started packing my stuff and hauling it to his house.  His excuse reason behind it was he felt like I had invaded his privacy.  Well, that thought took a while for him to sink in...  Oh, the irony!

And to be honest, I sort of had the notion of his reluctance from day one.  And that was why I had a fall back option of staying with my brother.  I knew he was reluctant, and was merely offering out of pity.  And damn lucky I did, otherwise, I'd be homeless right now...  Well, perhaps, I'm exaggerating.  But I was clever enough to send almost all of my stuff to my brother's, including my furnitures (which are just two cupboards and a bed) to my brother...  So I'm (almost) settled in my brother's flat with his family, and so far, no hints of reluctance yet.  But I suppose he is actually happy to have me around.  But I won't be there as much...  And it is such a difference, living with a family...  A positive difference.  

My brother lives in the army camp...  and I feel so secure somehow... living there... amongst men who protects this country...  LOL...  But I do feel a little patriotic in some weird way though...  So anyway.... scrap that...  I'm just too lazy to delete all of that...  So, what's new with me, love life, well, something's going on...  but I'm having some reluctance, not that I am afraid of commitment, it is just that, I am afraid to fall in love prematurely...  Me hearts still bleeds, if you know what I mean...  But, we'll see, and like the wise words of my ex YKW, "I don't want to jinx it"...  I laugh about that...  I can laugh about it now...

That's love life.  Lust life... a plenty!  Please refer to my first paragraph with the very very bad bad boy.  Shame on me, shame on me!  I am not proud of the things I have done, but hey, I'm single, I'm available, I'll take it, if you don't want that...  Not that I'm (figuratively speaking), scrapping the barrel... but, if I like it, I take it...  something like that...

No, I don't plan to be a bad boy...  It just happens...  Shit happens...  And this me shitting around.  Ensuring that shit happens.  Just as how it is meant to be...  Dirty and smelly...  Okay, maybe not smelly... but dirty, yes...  There's plenty of ways to move on...  And I picked the road with less baggage.  Some people move on with the high and righteous way, some people the low and scum way...  I picked the latter.  Perhaps that's the way I am.  Perhaps not.  I don't know which anymore... besides, can a Zebra be tamed?

Anyway, the deed has been done.  I have moved on, and I like to think of it, the way I wanted it to be.  Nevertheless, I am moving on with my new life.  New things, new surroundings, I'm trying to get rid of the past that's been haunting me.  I believe that this is meant to be.  I'm content with myself.  I'm happy.  With myself, and that's all that matters.  I know there wasn't much closure to my past relationship.  But as far as I am concern, this heart is closed for now...  No heartache, no pain, no gain of any kind.  

Better still, I'm losing a freaking amount of weight...  What about that, huh?  I look much better in my clothes....  I look sizzling hot...  Okay, exaggeration there, but what the heck?  I've lost the weight I gained during my break in KL...  I must say, I look good.  (Patting myself on the head)...  I feel terrific, and for once I feel me again.  I don't have to act for nobody...  I don't have to please nobody...  The only person I want to please is myself (and maybe, that special someone which I didn't want to jinx!  LOL)...  (Note to YKW:  I'm not taking a Mickey out of your phrase, but it is catchy, I must admit!)

So what else is there to say...  Oh, after having a good going over (hang on, not finished yet), with Alanis Morrisette CD introduced by Andie, I am looking for the copy...  and there are none to be found...  I think I'm going to follow Andie's footsteps by following (i.e. melayan) Alanis's Albums (songs)...  He asked me to listen to a few songs that makes me feel WOW!  Oh yeah, now I remember how I came about with the title of this post.  Alanis makes me WOW!  

Having to spend time with Andie, until 7a.m, he made me realise a few things about myself, that I already know, but often ignored by my own consciousness.  We talked about a lot of stuff, spiritual stuff, that I already know...  But talking about it...  just makes me go "Yeah, I know, I get you...  I've forgotten all about that".   I must say, the disadvantages of being in a relationship, makes you forget about yourself, and you start to think as a unit rather than as individuals.  I suppose that's the nature of all relationships...  The strength is it's weakness, in a way.... 

Rambling, rambling ramble....  that's what I have been doing... I suppose this long post makes up to the lost time that I didn't update it...  And you have got to be kidding me, if you want me to spell and grammar check them...  So that's from me for now...  Until then, ciao baby!