Offshore Not Afar...

Updates!!!  Warning, long post...

Hello there, what have you all been up to eh?  What have I been up to?  Oh gawd, I've lost track, there were plenty of things that had happened to me these few days.

From my last post, I talked about having Raya with Aliff, Q', Zaty, Addy, Diddy... oh there were a lot of us, but for more info about our Raya attacks click here, here, here, here, here, here and here.

That was so much fun, and days just flipped by me like turning pages on a book.  On Friday, I was on leave, but I had to run a few errands, but after that, I went to the Raya at Dewan Raya rehearsal.  I wasn't much but I took lots of pictures with Q's camera, after that, we went out for murtabak and after that, it was quite fuzzy, what the heck did I do?...  

I didn't come to the Raya at Dewan Raya on that weekend because I went to KK a.k.a Kota Kinabalu for a quick stop over.  This is a long story.  Remember a few post ago, I registered myself to run a 21kms or half marathon.  But due to work commitments and severe lack of discipline, I pulled out.  I cancelled everything.  I didn't want to run, because I knew I am not fit enough at all to finish the race and didn't want to injure myself in the process.  But I went to KK anyway, Redz needed a break, at first I didn't want to go.  Redz bought the tickets to accompany me for the race, and when I pulled out of the race, Redz was adamant to KK for a weekend.  I felt bad, so I didn't cancel my flight, but changed it to follow suit to Redz's weekend duration.  We left on the 11th October and came back on the 12th.  

We stayed at the newly opened 1Borneo.  Newly opened is the emphasis here.  So not much to go round for shopping, but still they're quite a few nice places to shop.  Also we stayed at a very newly opened hotel, one of the Mercure chains of hotel.  And it was quite nice.  Very new in this sense was that, it just started operation on the 6th October, and we stayed there for a night only, on the 11th.  So it was really new.  Too new, lots of room for improvements, in fact it was so new, they only opened one floor of the hotel.  And the rest was still under construction or renovation.  It was so new, that only one elevator was operational, it was so new, that the staff was incompetent.  Because obviously, the staffs are new too, but we understand and accepted with the compromise.  

Nothing much as I can say about the trip as it was a quick stop over.  But in the end, I was glad to go, because it turned out to be a quick fun outing for me and Redz.  I only saw one Bruneian runner, Ahmad Fathi, whilst we were shopping and on our flight back home.  I didn't regret not going for the half marathon, because I knew, it was beyond my capability as I had not readied myself for it.  If there is any blame, I blame myself for not pushing myself.  But I suppose, there will be other chances for me to have my run.  I am going to start running again, not for a marathon, but to lose weight.  I need to lose weight because..... well, I have my reason, and it's not for anybody, and it purely cosmetics.  The reason to this, will be revealed later when things are confirm and ready to go.  

Despite being on leave, I still went to the office to work.  I got a few indicative-worrying emails from work, so I thought I should come down to the office to solve the work problems and issues.  As for personal problems, well, at the moment, my problems seems to subside a little.  Thanks to a lot of talking, and sharing thoughts.  Talking is just not enough, but finally to comprehend each other.  It takes a lot of effort and perhaps some pride swallowing moments but in the end, it was all worth it.

Before this post I wanted to write about three significant words that does not exist but never came round to publish it.  Forever, Absolute and Perfect.  We always hear these words being uttered, by friends, family or lovers.  Words like I love you forever, Friends forever, Absolutely or you look perfect.  But you also hear things like, Nothing lasts forever, No one is perfect, or Are you absolutely sure?

This is a train of thought that I had for quite a while.  Let's take for example the word, Perfect.  If no one is perfect, then, perfect does not exist.  So why does the perfect exist, when there's nothing like it.  If nothing last forever, so why do we say to our lovers, I love you forever, when nothing lasts forever, so why does forever exist?  Isn't it ironic?  What are your thoughts on this?  Why does some things that does not exist, but the word exist?  

At this moment, I'm currently single.  I've currently turned single after two years of relationship.  Somehow, I thought, it couldn't have been two years.  I suppose the both of us, were trying our best to extend and trying to make it work.  But in the end, it was like eating an expired pill.  The more we try to keep eating it, the more the both of us got sick, but we both thought it will make things better.  So anyway, the reason I wrote about this, is that, now that single, I don't really like being single anymore.  Not that I am going to look for a new love, (honestly, and done with love, I'm sick and tired of maintaining it) but you know, somehow I wanted to fill that void.  But rejection after another, is not fun.  I'm not much of a person who takes rejection easily.  My last 'acquaintance' called me snobby and choosy.  It seems that after two years, my dating skills are a little outdated.  What I thought to be trying to get to know a person, was actually expressing my opinion about them, but it was just merely an opinion, or suggestion.  Not judging someone for who they are...  I was quite pissed with that comment.  Ask anybody who knows me, I'm the least judgmental guy who walks on the face of this earth.  I accept anybody and everybody for who they are, but don't judge me for my opinions when my opinion is asked.  

So that's about it, nothing much.  Moving on is quite a task for me, when emotions still runs high.  But even though I have not moved on yet, moving on is the task in hand.  Love is such a demanding and difficult thing to overcome.  Why can't we move on and detach ourselves from love like a flick of a switch.  But anyhow... moving on, I am.  

This afternoon, I had an short argument with Redz.  I kept saying that 18th of October is a Monday...  Boy, was I wrong.  Redz was right.  I'm supposed to go back offshore on the 18th, and I thought I have a weekend left.  I was wrong.  18th is on Saturday, and yup, it's about three days from now.  Darn...  I will be offshore for three weeks, and depending on my back to back or if I am need onshore to work.  You'll see more updates from me for the next three to four weeks if the router offshore works!  So I'm out of words, but not really, there are plenty of things in my mind, and plenty of things to tell, but I don't know which one to start with...  Oh, will post pictures of my raya and KK soon.  So until then, take care, be safe, be kind, Selamat Hari Raya AidilFitri, and Adios...