Thanks For Your Support & Happy Anniversary

I have been getting some support from my readers, some from people I've known and some from total strangers, which I am heart-felt touched by your contributions.  But at the moment, I'm left with a feeling of emptiness inside, felt abandoned for some reason, I feel a blank with my feelings.  But I'm almost good I think, and my wrist is healing very well.

I have been watching Heroes Series Season Two that I got from one of the trainees here.  I watched the whole season non stop since this morning, and of course, getting a break every now and again.  I just wondered what powers do I would like to have...  One ability that I would like to have is the self recovery or cell regeneration.  I know this sounds a bit mad or totally mad, but I don't mind cutting my wrist again or getting physically hurt, knowing that I will heal back again and I won't be able to die.  I suppose my self inflicted wounds would make me feel better, as a way of release of this hurt and burden inside...  Maybe I'm crazy, maybe I have a point, but most probably I am talking nonsense.  Am I crazy?  No, don't answer that smart ass... LOL...

It got me thinking just now, that when one of the characters, Claire Bennet said that getting physically hurt doesn't even come close to the pain of seeing his father's death.  And that was what I felt like.  Crash my car into a wall, or cutting my wrist was a way much better than being...  (I'd have to be careful now of what I write, I'm not sure) ... being left behind, perhaps?  Or taken for granted?  I'm not sure which, but there's emptiness in my heart now.  Or perhaps, I don't need any power, I suppose I wished that the Haitian who could erase memories, could erase the memories of someone I loved for the past two years.  Please don't get me wrong, I'm not regretting what had happened to me for the past years, there are so many sweet memories, and only some ugly and painful parts.  But my heart is really having a hard time dealing with what I am going through now.  The sweetest memories are the most painful for some reason.  Every time I think about it, it makes me wanna die over and over again, that is if I could.  Argh!  Depressing isn't it?  I feel like Claire right now.  All the physical pain combined doesn't even come remotely close to the pain I feel right now.  Okay, moving on, I'm getting depressed thinking about it now.  

Nothing's new with me at the moment, oh, I forgot to mention that on last Sunday, we had a wonderful Hari Raya Celebration here at offshore, everybody, except for some of my crew had half of a day off.  It was brilliant, and I took lots and lots of pictures.  It started at 2p.m, where the mess room was converted into different stalls.  These stall represent the different departments of the operation process and into different disciplines such as Mechanical, Instruments and Electrical.  Their stalls were decorated beautifully and they we had the chance to visit their stalls as like we were going to people's houses for a Hari Raya visit.  It was fantastic.  There were fun and games held too.  And at about 7p.m a barbeque was held at the top deck of the living quarters.  It was nice, there were karaoke held, and there was a Champion 7 Hari Raya Idol.  My MatCo (Material Coordinator) got to sing a raya song, he was sporting enough to participate but I think he is emotionally scarred having to sing in front of the operators and other contractors.  Oh and most importantly of all, for the first time (as far as anyone who had worked here could recollect their memories) is that, we were allowed to smoke under the big open sky outside of the living quarters.  We were enjoying it like hell.  I didn't smoke much though, I'm cutting down my ciggies.  So far so good.  It ended pretty late though.

Wow, that kept my mind going...  

One more thing I would like to write.  Today, marks the 1st Anniversary of KELLAZ. BLOGSPOT.COM!!!  Click here for the very first post of this blog!  Wow!  One year has passed, and this post is coincidentally the 300th post of this blog.  It has been a wonderful first year with Kellaz.Blogspot.com.  Somehow, writing my thoughts, feelings, my trials and tribulations helps keeps my sanity intact, well, much of it anyway, and it has helped me quite a lot.  I've gained some 'unknown' friends, and I've gain a lot of help from them too.  Kellaz.Blogspot.Com (KBC for short), has been my sounding board throughout this year, sometimes it was misconstrued as a battle of words.  Some thinks negatively of it, as to insult, degrade or to defame someone.  Some had learned important lessons from it.  Some got closer to me as they read my daily journals.  And some kept in touch with me by reading it too.  So in your recent support for KBC, here I would like to extend my utmost appreciation for visiting, reading and commenting my blog and being a part of it.  Honestly, this blog is a part of me, and for you that are reading them, some part of me is with you.  And I feel humble and want to thank you with the greatest gratitude from the deepest and warmest part of my heart.  THANK YOU.  THANK YOU.

So, from now on, this blog shall have a new ending...  to which I am still thinking of...  So for now, the ending goes...  Until then, C'est La Vie (That's Life, in French).