Evil

If I could summarise my vacation into just one word, the one word would be EVIL.

I have never been so excited to write in my blog that I am now writing it on my word document, hoping that tomorrow when I am online, I will paste these words into my blog.  These feelings inside of me is still fresh and I don’t want to forget what had just happened over the course of one week.

I have landed in Brunei about an hour ago, I have showered and am about to go to sleep.  This vacation and perhaps my belated new year celebration is the best vacation yet.  Yes, I say yet.  So far this trip has got to be the pinnacle of all vacation that I had ever had.  There was drama, with a lovely ending, in one of the most beautiful location on earth.  There was fun and fantasy.  There were laughter and sadness.  And most important of all…  Friendship.

Friendship.  What is it?  What is the essence of it? 

I don’t have the answers for you.  You have to define yourself.  But let me share you a few things I know.  Best friends don’t need to say sorry to each other.  Best friends don’t need to see each other often.  Best friends have utmost respect for each other.  Best friends love each other (in a non-sexual way, of course).  Best friends understand each other.  Best friends don’t have to be similar.  And above all, your best friend, should be your friend.  I know that last one sounds obvious, but please do think about it.  Take a moment.  Digest it.  If you can’t find the answers somewhere in there, only you can define it for yourself.

I wanted to share with you my experiences over the last few days, but I guess, you can think about it, a single red-hot blooded young male going to Bangkok.  Without being defensive about it, believe or not, I am giving myself a pat on my shoulder, because I have been a really, really good boy.  Those who know me, knows what I am on about.  But I have been a good boy, indeed.  I’m proud of my achievement, despite that I am single (twice!) over these past few months and can do what ever I like.  But instead, I have to courage to say no.  Me and my friend went to watch Yes Man at one of the popular cinema in Bangkok, and one thing about saying yes, there are times when it also takes a lot of courage to say no.  And that is why I am proud of myself, I’m not showing pride to you, but I feel proud of my achievement.

So why the hell would I go to Bangkok, and not ‘experience’ it?  The answer to that is, experience can be found anywhere.  Yeah, sure there are things that Bangkok has, and there are no place found elsewhere.  But for those who have been there, repeating the same experience can get a little, dare I say, boring.  And this is Bangkok, there are more things for one to experience.

I’m sure at this point in time, you might be wondering, what I am on right now.  At first I was talking gibberish about friendship and now about the Bangkok experience.  And yes, if you think I am ranting?  I am.  I have this bursting urge to explode with happiness.  There are just too many things to say and tell you about.  But these things I wanted to tell, can be catagorised as personal.  Not because of the nature or the experience of it, but it involves other people. 

This trip has made our friendship stronger than before.  We opened up each other’s mind, we became ‘evil’ together (sorry, couldn’t explain that further, that was absolutely one crazy story to tell), we danced, we found new friends, we laugh and cry together, in short, we’ve bonded.  Stronger.  Bolder.  Better.  Than just friends.  Brothers perhaps?

Sometimes, we only realise this, after an adversity that challenge the friendship itself.  And by overcoming this adversity, one can reach a better understanding of each other.  That rules true to any type of relationship.  And that also reminds me of my longest relationship with my ex.  Why did we last that long?  We went through hell and came back together as a stronger unit.  Unfortunately, there are certain factors that can ruin that.  Emotions.  As human as it is, to have emotions, it can be quite dangerous to depend on emotions to drive us.  Emotions are of a complex nature.  It is always subjective and takes a lot of assumptions.  My break up was based on that.  Not just from one part, but from the both of us.  But then again, looking at the silver lining of it all, is that my relationship and break up made me grow.  Yeah, we broke up, got heart broken, gone suicidal, bla, bla, bla, but I am thankful for the break up, an adversity that made me grow and learn and evolve as a person, as a man.  Yeah it was difficult, but it made me stronger.  The both of us are stronger because of it. 

I'll continue some other time, until then, take care, I've got to go, Ciao!