Reaching the Threshold

I'm about to reach the threshold of breaking point.  

Work wise, I'm slowing down a bit and counting the days even hours to go home.  I'm not tired or sick of my work, it's just that everyday for the past 17 days have been a total routine.  And I'm itching to break away from it.  It's causing me to slow down.  

This is a good thing, I know now how much of the offshore life I can bear.  And coming to the third week is, I suppose, where I draw the line.  Leave me here for some more time, I'll go insane.  Okay, exaggeration there, but I do feel so left out with everything.  It's like being in jail but not really.  I suppose you wouldn't understand unless you have lived, worked and played here.  It's more like living in a hostel, but instead of studying, you work.  And the place you work, you play, you sleep and rest, is all in a big building complex.  Yeah, I suppose that's the way to imagine it to be.

Work is good.  If I am running a business, it's all good.  But it is not that I am whining or anything, (which what I am about to do), it's just that my team's morale is a little down.  HSE (that's an acronym for Health, Safety and Environment) in this facility is very very (seriously, very, very) strict.  And I know that not everyone follows them by the book, there will always be shortcuts and of course, safety for all is important.  At all times.  But my team feels they're being bullied.  They get PAKAT (it's a stop action card.  Say if what we're doing here is a football game, it's the yellow card or the red card) almost everyday.  My guys are working their ass off and they're working as safely as they can.  But PAKATs everyday?...  They're starting to feel like, they're being picked on or bullied.  

If someone asks me what is the price of a team's morale.  It's $20.  Best intervention or PAKATs are given vouchers of $20, and most of the interventions or PAKATs are penalised on my teams.  And there are some people here, doing their best to PAKAT others  to 'earn' money!

And what is not fair, in their (i.e. my team's)  consideration is that, these PAKATs can be quite partial and biased.  Why would I say that?  Because there's always to side in every story.  My guys including myself won't say anything much towards that, because we know who we are, we are here to make a living and to keep their mouth shut most of the time.   As visitors in this place or facility, there are times, we have to nod to whatever is thrown to us.  It's a complex issue, I must admit.  

But most important of all and to remember is that, there are no wrong or right answers here, there's no blame, there's no finger pointing.  But my teams is disheartened with these PAKATs (stop cards).  They are trying their best to perform and do their best, trying hard to progress and most importantly doing it safely, but they feel like every move they make, is a potential PAKAT for others.  

I'm not defending my guys, they're are times when they can get quite careless and sloppy.  Making silly mistakes.  But there are times, when they feel demoralise because of these stop cards against them.  I take this as a challenge for myself.  I have to lead them to a safer way, and trying my best to keep their HSE performance up to par.  But on my other plate, I'm also tryin to make the team progress as plan.  I can't be in two place at one time. There are many times when I feel stuck in the office making up plans after plans for my team, tackling work and logistic problems.  And the sad part is, no one understands the nature of my job.  Perhaps a few, who would.  But it's a challenge.  Being here in the first place is already a challenge.  

Bit by bit, is what I always repeat back to myself.  Improve myself bit by bit.  So anyway, there's two days left here offshore.  And the days just go by very very very slow.  I guess, I'm counting on the hours too much.  

Okay, I suppose whining (if you can call it that) over.   I hope you out there, mostly starting to work again after the long holidays to have a great day, evening or whatever time you're reading this...  So until then, take care and ciao!