Have An Issue? Get A Tissue!

I was actually trying to refrain from writing this issue in my blog, because it will only make myself look defensive.  But it got me thinking; I couldn’t sleep because of it, so I guess, writing it in my blog is inevitable.

A reader said that I use this blog as a way to get sympathy.  Did I get any?  Sympathy is an affection I can get from my readers, can I force that upon my readers? Obviously the answer is no, but then again, at the same time, that was never the intention.  As I already have written, for quite a number of times, and bearing in mind that this blog are my thoughts, trials and tribulations that I personally have gone through, it is merely my sounding board, yeah, it is true that my sounding boards is quite public, but through this channel, perhaps someone out there can teach me a thing or two about life.  Challenge my thoughts, and to a certain point, learn from my own mistakes.

It is also a journal.  There are times, when I trace back to read the happy times and the sad times, all of this is to remind me of the things that I did out of my naïve behaviour, my curious thoughts and my blind mistakes.  It was never a channel for my readers to feel sympathy, if you do sympatise, that’s good too.  If you feel like laughing at my stupidity, please do too.  It is something you read and form an opinion as you may like.  Of course, as all opinions goes, it’s that quote I got from TV “Opinions are like asses, everyone has them, but no one wants to hear them”.

I appreciate honesty from my readers and from my blog I have gain quite a number of friends.  Although I have not met any of them, they do contact me via MSN and share their thoughts about life and how to live it properly.  ‘N’ is a particular contact who shares her thoughts and somewhat also express her interest in my writing.  She has learn and taught me life.  This is not just a blog, but it’s my journal.  It’s my thoughts. 

There are times that my thoughts are mind provoking or biased.  This blog was never meant to provoke anyone or their beliefs.  It is biased purely for the fact it comes from my own thoughts and heart.  Challenge my thoughts if you strongly believe it is wrong.  Challenge it constructively, not negatively.  I am also sure through my posts, I have also gained a few enemies.  And I don’t mind them, just as I wish that they refrain from the name calling, or visit my blog as it can be provoking to them.  Please do leave my blog.

There are two sides in every story and my side is only one part of it.  So what goes on in my life are my own thoughts and what I take of it is my right.  Yes, it is my opinion and it is my blog, and it is my place to express it however I wish to.  And from my last post, I wish to remind my readers, that if my thoughts are unacceptable, please do send me an email and challenge my thoughts.  Again, challenge my thoughts constructively, not negatively. 

One thing in life and a lesson I’ve learnt from my blog is that the trials and tribulations (and relationships) that I have gone through is not only one part of the story, but most important of all, there are no right or wrong answers to everything.  Not everything is black or white.  Yes or No.  There are no such things.  So what you may read may not be entirely true.  People are reactive, thus I am too.  I am reactive, thus people do too. 

Looking back at my life for the past couple of years, even before this blog was born, I am thankful for the things that had happened in my life.  Read my old posts, those are my life stories.  I went through a lot of happiness and sadness.  My family, my relationships, my friends are all there for people to digest.  Yes, there will be sad stories about me.  But there are not to gain any sympathy and my happy stories are not to brag about. 

We should always remember that blog like mine are my journal, thus there are my thoughts and a reflection of my life, not as to gain any affection or fiscal value.  Read as it is, challenge my thoughts constructively. I do ask for forgiveness if my life stories do provoke someone.  Again, to remind, that was never the intention.  And if still certain people could not handle them, please leave, and I say that without any ill feelings. 

My blog is my journal, and what you read are my thoughts.  Thoughts can be dangerous, that much I do know.  This is because I might unintentionally provoke someone or their beliefs.  And if I do, please accept my heartfelt apologies.  But believe it or not, as I grew with this blog, it had made me a better man.  There are plenty of times that I was embarrassed of my own thoughts.  What I used to believe to be true, are blatantly wrong.  And in that way, I grew, I learnt. 

Recently I read my old post, up to a year ago, in random, and I wrote about my relationship, I read a ‘happy’ post during my past relationship.  And that brought so much sweet memories that I cried because I miss my ex so much (it was not so much of something that was written in the blog, but what happened at that point in time, and how happy my ex made me).  Then I wrote about my suicidal moment, and that made me regret so much.  Everything that had happened in my life was good.  Even when things were going wrong, everything was good.  I have learnt from my mistakes, I have grown to learn from my mistakes.  It made me a better man.  So much of a better person because of it. 

The foresaid reader was spot on right; my life is full of drama.  We are in a drama called life.  We only think it is a drama because we are reading other people’s life.  And obviously, when we read or watch a drama, we consciously form an opinion about it.  But we’re all in a drama of our own.  All of us are living in a drama.  The only difference is, no one is watching.  And we disregard our life and take all the drama for granted. This drama is life itself.  To each their own thoughts, to each their own trials and tribulations, to each their own drama.  How you wanted to portray oneself in their drama and write the scripts is up to you.  One can draw it up, one can write it up, for others to judge which characters they love or hate. 

I know for sure, there are people who loves or hates me for my blog, form an opinion of how much an angel I am or a wanker I have been.  It is up to you to judge your opinion about me.  And if you strongly believe that I am talking out of my ass, please do challenge me.  CONSTRUCTIVELY. I like to be proven wrong, in that way, I could grow.  Of course, please do this offline (via email or MSN).  My blog is not a battleground.

I do appreciate the comment from my reader.  For a short ‘sarcastic’ remark about myself, it does make me think about it.  And I appreciate it even more.  I am now more aware and careful of my thoughts because of it.  I just hope that readers do not judge me for what I write on this blog.  There are many times, that my posts are partial of my thoughts.  I do hide some of my thoughts, because some are personal to me.   If you are curious about my thoughts, feel free to contact me.  I am glad to entertain your thoughts too.  Let’s just say, I have this huge appetite to learn from your thoughts. 

I have written quite an amount now, and I’m a little knackered.  So until then, please take care of yourself, drive safe (it’s been raining pretty bad lately) and Ciao!