Changed Layout

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No, you're not mistaken, it's still my blog...

Out of boredom, I played around with my blog and voila... it's all plain white for now. In the middle of tinkering around with it, I lost interest and thus it will stay like this for a while. LOL...

Even though I am offshore, it doesn't mean that I am totally disconnected with the rest of the world. I am going to confide to you about something. I'm having a crush. And I've been trying to push it away. But the more I try, the more it comes back again. I don't normally have crushes. And it is rare in my case. I guess I don't fall in love easily. Then again, I am not falling in love. Just a crush.

So how would you handle crushes? I am hoping that I wouldn't have to confront. Not that I am a coward, but in my current state, I am not fit to hold a decent relationship yet if things go well that is... Well, sometimes it is about facing my fears. But I guess I will know when the time for me to face it. Right now, I just wanna hide everything from everyone.

But you know what? I miss being in love. Just the other night, I was reminiscing all the good times that I had with my ex. I remembered the way my ex woke me up, my ex never misses making me a cup of coffee and sometimes with toast before work, the way my ex hug me before we separate for work in the mornings. We lived happily ever after... well it felt like that. And that we met for lunch once in a while. Sometime we didn't talk at all, we just sat there, leaning against each other. I miss all of that. There are plenty of sweet things that had happened but I didn't want to share too much info, otherwise it will make me sound pathetic.

I miss all of that. I wanted it back, but I don't want to hurt nobody anymore. My ex had suffered a lot of heartache and it is a miracle that we've lasted that long. (...pause...) Hang on. Why did this post suddenly talking about my ex. (Waving away the thought clouds above my head).

I'm not a nice guy, really. I mean, as a friend, as a person, I am a nice guy, or at least I like to think I am. But in relationships, I'm crap at it. I don't really know what is the reason behind it all, but then again, I'm trying as much as I can to change. Rome wasn't built in a day, you know... So the same thing applies to me...

Oh crap.... I've been ranting unnecessarily, thus now, I shall make an exit. Until then... Take care. Ciao!

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