Dependency

I just got thinking that sometimes we depend on others with the most trusted and valuable thing on earth. Love. Why on earth would we do that?

I was wondering can a person love him/herself? I mean truly love themselves and happy to be themselves. Never feeling lonely. Always independent. Always happy to be themselves. And being single is the utmost importance in their lives. Is there?

I knew a few friends who are not really in love with themselves, but have an "emotional wall" build up around them. They don't let anyone one in, but every now and again, the bricks break bit by bit, and every time they realise that, they put the brick back on the wall. On that wall, there is an "emotional window" where they peek at their surroundings. Some of my friends found someone strong enough to break into their walls and they live moderately happy ever after, as long as it can last. The wall collapse during this time. And when it ended, the walls come back on.

I don't have an emotional wall. I have a rotating door. This is where everyone who goes in, will find themselves out again. I do let people in, to a certain extent. And then off they go out back again. There's a reason to this, I wanna find inner peace in me before I go out and back on a real commitment serious relationship again. I hated myself for treating my last date where I unconsciously gave hope and expectations. But at least we're are good friends now.

So it there a rule for someone who had his heart broken and wanting to get into a relationship again. I wonder that sometimes... But anyhow, that's just a penny of my thoughts, until then, take care and Ciao...