Kellaz is always Wrong!

-

I must have taken 'the wrong' pill.  Everything, I say or do, is just wrong.  My thoughts?  They're wrong too.  Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Fucking Wrong! Don't ever listen to me.

For the first time in the past days, I have been severely sick and now, I have recovered from my flu, but instead of feeling better, I feel bad, terrible, why?  Because I have been wronged!  

I'm stumped.  I'm stunned!  I'm stuck.

One thing I've learnt is that I can never satisfy no one.  Sometimes people just want more and more from you and then it's your fault.  Sigh!  I give up.  I've tried to be nice, wrong!  I've tried to be good, wrong again!  I've tried, wrong, I try again, wrong, I try harder, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong!!  Stupid Kellaz, wrong!  You can't do anything right!

I'm ranting in randomness, thus, you're probably think that I've taken some kind of drugs or something.  I would have explained it, but due to it's sensitivity... I might afraid that I'll be wronged again!

Fade up!  Give up!  I've had this feeling...  oh yeah, with my family.  I've had enough.  I'm tired, emotionally tired, I'm emotionally exhausted.  Emotionally drained.  Emotionally dead!  Seriously.  I don't care anymore...  I don't think there is a need to care anymore.  Care about anything or everything.  Why care, when I know I'm always wrong.  I just want to sit here on my bed and just be emotionless.  Dead.  

It doesn't matter if the wrong doings are the truth or not.  All that matters at the end of the day is that I'm all wrong.  Yaay!!  The World is right!  Stupid Kellaz is always wrong.  Boo Kellaz!!!  Shame on you!!!  You're such a fool!!!  Ignorant and stupid!!  In fact, Kellaz is stupid itself!

I feel bad.  Bad about everything.  Bad for living.  I should have died last year.  I should have.  I'm not worth living.  I'm not a nice person.  Bad people should just die.  It's much better that way.  Good people should live and rule and roam the earth, not scum-bags like me.  Life's better like that.

Some say life is like a wheel.  It is true, sometimes you're on top, sometimes, you down below...  But in my case, I'm down below running over piles of shit.  And oh, the wheel has stopped turning...  So with the piles of shit, I shall stay....  Adios!  

Thanks for making my day!  Great.  Just great!  Thank you so much.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Happy Birthday to Me

-
Image
Happy Birthday to Me Warning: This will be a long read. There are a lot of things in my mind which I wanted to express. Today is my birthday, and now I am three decades old. Time has travelled so fast in front of my eyes. And today, I look back my life and reflect my past. And will also discuss my years to come, insyaallah. First and Foremost, on the eve of my birthday was the Sixty Second DJ competition which ran align with the best 914. Best 914 is a singing contest where the contestants are selected from a radio show which they called in and sang with a minus one song. And now, yesterday they sang really really well and they sounded like professional singers. It's amazing that they are just singers who just sang along in the radio, for some they have been into a few singing contest. Then it was our turn. I was the fifth contestant, to go and face the crowd. It was nerve wreaking looking at what looks like about a thousand people watching you. I did what I can, and I did it wi...
Read more

Tolerances and Compromises

-
I'm half angry and half sulking with my OH . Sometimes my OH have this ability to make me feel needy and clingy. Sometimes I feel that I'm always the one giving and giving, thus making me feel just like that. It is as if, I'm holding all my cards out for everyone to see for the sake of love. And I'm only making a great fool of myself. Where does that fine line starts or stop? Where would you draw the line from doing something for someone your love and doing anything and everything for someone you love? As days go by, sometimes I feel I'm doing the latter. I'm only writing my frustration here, not to belittle my beloved OH , I just need to release this anger that I am having at the moment. So what was this all about? Without elaborating too much on the matter, I asked to be together for one night and do what I wanted to do and then, I got a quick turn down. Purely because my OH don't feel like it. I've done my part of reluctance for the sake o...
Read more

Sunday at the Beach

-
Image
Since we had a great shooting at Tutong's Seri Kenangan Beach last week.  We decided to do a sequel with the usual crew, my mentor Corey and our model of the month, Redz.   So I'll just let the pictures speak for themselves, it's mediocre, I know, I'm still learning and I'm still couldn't get over with photoshopping issues.  I lose some quality when I reduce the image size.  It has been a great weekend.  And I sense a great weekday ahead. On our way to Seri Kenangan Beach The Tumpi (Malay Pan cake) was good, we nearly forgot the sun was setting, I love the silhouette created by the setting sun. A post card picture of a father and son, taking pictures of the sunset. Casuarina Tree Redz contemplating to go deeper into the sea... Breaking the waves Mastering the Panning technique Of course, we couldn't forget our Next Bruneian Top Model!  Picture perfect! So Until then my dear readers...  hope you like my pictures.  Comments appreciated.  These pictures are n...
Read more