Another Bad Migrane

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My migrane is getting worst. I can't wake up. My head was throbbing. It was painful. My migrane went away at about 3pm today. Even trying to sleep is difficult. Why is this all happening to me. Seriously I want to die.

I have been having a really bad week. It's just to difficult right now. I feel so empty. It is so hard to be positive right now, when everything inside me and outside is falling apart. I feel abandoned. I feel helpless. I feel so alone.

Recieved an email today, and I gave the email a really harsh reply. Because I am hurt. It's just so painful. How do you forgive some one? I wish I could just leave it hidden and put on a happy face for the sender. But after all that I have invested in, and dismissed just like that. Just like that.

It hurts me to reply that email. I am not a nasty person, but at times depending the situation, I can be. I have been on my own for a few days now. It feels lonely and empty, with my car accident and my near miss to death, it's just too damn empty inside out.

My friend texted me "Trials are given to those God cares. Take time to reflect. What do you think god is trying to remind you of." He's right, I suppose he's trying to make me think positive of all the adversity that I have been going through lately. He apologised later by texting me if he was a little preachy. He didn't have to, it was taken with a little bit of salt and sugar. I understand. I am going to do something my life. I just hope I know what it is.

Until then, adios...

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