Rationalising
Last night, my housemate, Eddy and I couldn't sleep, so we ended up talking till almost 4am. It was great talking to him, apart the occasional running back and forth towards the other side of the house, to check the progress of a domestic row that can be heard relatively loud not far from where we were. At one point, the police were called and we heard breaking glass.
But we were talking about my just ended relationship and Eddy sort of rationalise what happened. He was right, emotions especially anger does make people say the things that they don't mean. Because of anger, we say hurtful things eventhough we don't mean them. It was merely a spur of the moment. He was suprised that my relationship had an abrupt halt. Eddy made me look and be at the other side of story and perhaps I now see some relevancy. Yes, I'm still angry with my ex. But now, I think I'm willing to forgive my ex. Although I still can't see the whole point. Perhaps, I understand. Just a little.
Maybe forgiven but not forgotten. I told him about my expectations of my ex, that above and all people, I expected more. But all of that has past and stays in the past. I am willing to turn a new leaf. But am I ready to confront and talk to my ex? No. I sort of forgave my ex, partially. I suppose I deserve some level of anger. Not because of pride. But I still have my dignity. Thanks Eddy for listening to me and broadening my senses.
So anyway, today is my 7th Working Anniversary. Seven years ago, I put my signature on the contract to start work. And I remembered my first day to work, I was hit from behind on my very first day to work, my brother was mad pissed at me, for wreaking his car, he it wasn't my fault, blame the guy who hit me! Seven years is nothing, it passes me in a blink. What a crazy ride it has been. But a rollercoaster ride of pride, emotions and knowledge. I also recieved my appraisal factor for last year today. The same as last year. A little, just a little unsatisfied, but contempt. And happy. I told myself I won't accept anything lower.
I asked my boss if there is a possibility of a promotion in two years time. He told me, "Yes, it's do-able, achievable, but not by the standard of work you have right now. You have the brain, but no willingness to do more. Such a pity. So close...". That is what I love about my boss. Down right honesty without pissing you off. I agreed. So a lot of changes needs to done on my career path. I know that I am at the right track, now seeking the right speed. And willingness! So not such a bad day today after all. Happy Anniversary Kellaz. For more years to come...
Till then, Adios Amigos and Amigas
But we were talking about my just ended relationship and Eddy sort of rationalise what happened. He was right, emotions especially anger does make people say the things that they don't mean. Because of anger, we say hurtful things eventhough we don't mean them. It was merely a spur of the moment. He was suprised that my relationship had an abrupt halt. Eddy made me look and be at the other side of story and perhaps I now see some relevancy. Yes, I'm still angry with my ex. But now, I think I'm willing to forgive my ex. Although I still can't see the whole point. Perhaps, I understand. Just a little.
Maybe forgiven but not forgotten. I told him about my expectations of my ex, that above and all people, I expected more. But all of that has past and stays in the past. I am willing to turn a new leaf. But am I ready to confront and talk to my ex? No. I sort of forgave my ex, partially. I suppose I deserve some level of anger. Not because of pride. But I still have my dignity. Thanks Eddy for listening to me and broadening my senses.
So anyway, today is my 7th Working Anniversary. Seven years ago, I put my signature on the contract to start work. And I remembered my first day to work, I was hit from behind on my very first day to work, my brother was mad pissed at me, for wreaking his car, he it wasn't my fault, blame the guy who hit me! Seven years is nothing, it passes me in a blink. What a crazy ride it has been. But a rollercoaster ride of pride, emotions and knowledge. I also recieved my appraisal factor for last year today. The same as last year. A little, just a little unsatisfied, but contempt. And happy. I told myself I won't accept anything lower.
I asked my boss if there is a possibility of a promotion in two years time. He told me, "Yes, it's do-able, achievable, but not by the standard of work you have right now. You have the brain, but no willingness to do more. Such a pity. So close...". That is what I love about my boss. Down right honesty without pissing you off. I agreed. So a lot of changes needs to done on my career path. I know that I am at the right track, now seeking the right speed. And willingness! So not such a bad day today after all. Happy Anniversary Kellaz. For more years to come...
Till then, Adios Amigos and Amigas
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