A Day Left and Into the Battle Field

One day left and I will be home bound soon.  I can't wait.

At this moment, I am not proud of myself, I am angry with myself, I am ashamed of myself and  I hate myself for doing it.  I have just scolded a man almost twice my age with decades of offshore experience.

But in a way, it had to be done.  This work related problem that I was having for the past few week was caused by improper planning after firm and clear instruction were issued.  Also, cases of wrong reporting caused a lot of problem on my half.  It's just so complicated but in all, I tried my best to be professional and kept being factual, highlighting the issues only.  It was hard but it had to be done.  

But personally, I'm sad that I had to do that.  Even professionally I have to do it.  But I hope the outcome is going to be good.  I will try to be supportive and kept encouraging the team.  It is a tough place to be in, trying to be nice but firm, to satisfy two group of people at the same time, and keeping everything in place and to progress as planned.  But like I said in my previous posts, all of this is good.  It is a challenge for me, although I didn't like it.  Being a leader has it's perks and consequences, nothing in life is free flowing...  It turns around and bites you where it hurts the most...

That the way the cookie crumbles - Bruce Almighty.

On a personal note, lately, I've been thinking about dating again.  Thinking about how nice it would be to have someone by my side.  But the half of my brain, being realistic about it, is scaring me.  Trying to go back into the dating field is tedious and exhausting.  Trying to know the other person, trying to get used to their ways, trying to make them comfortable, the courtship... Just thinking about it makes me cringe.  I guess I'm not ready and maybe I am right on that one.  

But it's a chicken and egg situation, isn't it?  You won't find the right one for you until you start dating, but by dating, you had to go through the frustration (and rejection) and the courtship itself.  It is like the idea of going through a pile of.... straw to find the golden needle.  But of course, after sorting it all, it maybe the end of the rainbow, or perhaps, it's just another gorge to hell...  Well, yup, I mean, nope, I'm not ready to go into the battle field.  But I wonder, how would you prepare yourself before you dive in yourself into such situations?

Thinking pessimistic about it, doesn't help, being optimistic only gives you high hopes, ahhh, I suppose, it'll come eh?  A friend used to say, love just comes when you least expect it.  I hope that hold true in my case...  Blah, blah, blah, I know, I'm talking out of my arse...  Anyway, that's just a piece of my thought there...  Until then, take good care of your great, wonderful self and Ciao!

p/s:  Hope you are having a wonderful long weekend, unlike me...  Hate you all :) LOL...