Headless Chicken

That's how I feel at the moment every morning.  Like a headless chicken.

As the platform receive more people, and the light of day indicates work commencing.  I had to wake up early yesterday at 6a.m on a Sunday even!  And the today is no different.  Logistics to care of, people to mobilise. Pretty much boring stuff thus I won't dwell into it here.

This is my 200th post in this blog.  So far so good.  Ironically, there isn't much to update you on.  Thus not much to write in the blog.  I've just finished watching Will and Grace final season (Season 8) last night.  I even watched up to the bloopers in the DVD extras, I had to contain myself as my roommate who is also my Shift Supervisor is snoring loudly below me.  (To explain this, I don't sleep on top of him, which is would be awkward, here we have bunk beds, and I got the top bed).  And the more I contain myself from laughing loudly afraid that I'd wake my roommate, my body shook, thus, the bed shook, and the more it shook, the more I want to contain myself from laughing.  I slept with this silly smile on my face reminiscing what I just watched.  For those, who doesn't know what and who Will and Grace is, well, it's a comedy series which ended, I think, in 2002 and took the world by storm.  A bit like Friends but with a funny and twist to it...

Since this is my 200th post.  I'm going to tell you a little about my life.  My life sucks at the moment, not because that I am offshore.  But I'm going through some sort of crossroad in my relationship.  I'm seeking a reluctant freedom.  Does that make sense?  A reluctant freedom?  I wanted to be free to do what I want to, which conceptually means I have to be single in doing so, but at the same time I don't want to be single.  Ambivalent?  Of course, I'm talking about me.

But on the bright side of things, my baby and I are keeping our channels open.  Keeping the communication open and talking about everything and anything openly.  But sometimes in a committal relationship, it is little bit about the other half, and a little bit on my part.  Honestly, and I'm going to announce this to the world, but I am extremely NOT proud of it, is that, I am a promiscuous guy.  Trust is not my friend but I have always been honest about it.  Sorry is my best friend.  And to withstand me and stay with me in my promiscuous ways, it takes a lot of strain on the relationship and my other half.  My other half have stayed with me up to this point, I couldn't love my baby in any other way.  A lot of tears have been shed.

A friend once said that at 22 years old, that when a person is cast as stone.  Their attitude, their behavior and their psychological patterns will follow for the rest of their life.  They will not change.  It could change probably following suit a traumatic event.  But even so, it is still a maybe...  So is that right that I will never change, since I have been promiscuous since then?  I find it absurd, but I secretly agree to my friend's theory.  It does makes a little sense, but probably it's just coincidence.

Sometimes, I feel lost in this world.  Not just in my relationship, but also in myself...  Can you get lost inside yourself?  It doesn't make sense, thus I am rambling unnecessarily.  It is like, I know the direction I am heading, but I couldn't make out the path, even when the path is clear in front of me.  Only time will tell what is in store for me in the future...  I don't want to take things in my hand, as I am hardly reliable to handle my own life.

What else that I can talk about here?  Oh, I miss my cars.  I miss driving.  The only vehicle around here is a fork lift.  And what would I want to do with a fork lift anyway.  I am trying to keep my weight down here, food is readily available here...  The kitchen is always buzzing with food and activities.  And if I am going to entertain my stomach to my taste buds, I'd gain weight in a blink of an eye.  I think I would have to withdraw from running the 21 km half marathon this August, since I haven't been running and training.  There is a thread mill and that's about it.  I didn't bring my running shoes even.  I'm really frustrated.  I suppose if I could get a friend to send me shoes...  That's an idea...

I suppose there's nothing much to say, but to thank you for reading my blog up to this point.  Keep on reading, I know there's nothing much informative that I can give you.  Hmm, 200 blog posts, yet I am not a journalist still...  Keep on dreaming I suppose...  Until then, peeps, Adios and thank you...