Jealousy is the best policy

All of a sudden, I feel jealous.  But due to personal nature of my feelings, I can't let it out here.  

Here I am with Yoy, at quarter past 3 a.m. with Euro Football match filling the ambient sounds of DeFountain Cafe feeling jealous.  Something feels just ain't right.   I suppose I am over reacting.

But anyhow, I haven't updated you guys on the what's going on in my life. Actually, since the absence of my close friends for the last few days, I made some new friends, I suppose I'm expanding my circle of friends or network.  Because when it comes to friends, I think I've put them all in one basket.  I've invested my social life revolving around just a few friends.  Not that I sense tension between us all, in fact it is all good.  But nothing last forever right?  BFF?  I don't think so.  Why?  People change, status change, situation change.  So there's never a guarantee to things that exist in your life.  Hmm, why do I sound pessimistic tonight?  

But entering a new circle can be quite difficult for me, in the sense that, as we grow up, somehow, it is difficult to get to know new people.  I suppose we're much more concern about what other people think.  And consciously and subconsciously, we tend to be more aware of our actions, what we say and what we represent ourself as.  And I suppose as we grow up, we form opinions about other people and at times we're too self-conscious of what or how we conform to the new network or circle.  

In all honesty, my life is at a transition.  It has been almost half a year that I started commuting and living in Bandar ("city").  All my friends are still in KB, and I don't see much of them.  I miss them dearly actually.  And the friends that exist in my life right now are 'loaned' friends as what my sister describe as "a friend of a friend", that you exist to a new circle of friends by network from a particular friend.  My link to my current circle of friends is from Redz.  So I sometimes wonder, if Redz decided to cut that link, would I be in the same circle?  I think not, because I remembered an occasion, where one of my friends did mention, "It doesn't matter, because it is also our choice to choose who our friends are, too".  And I know my circle are absolutely good people in all sense.

Hey, the title of this post don't match the content.  But this jealousy feeling is way too strong.  But I deserve it, I suppose.  Till then my dear friends, take care, Adios!