Friend turns Lover
I was logging off my hotmail, when I saw this in MSN, I could help but to click on it.
By Molly Triffin
I was chatting with a friend recently on MSN who was involved in this kind of love. It is rare to see these kind of things to happen, but nevertheless it could happen.
Have I ever fell in love with a friend, yes, what's worst is to my ex's best friend. Maybe perhaps I was such a horny bastard, but seriously, I have been secretly admire the best friend for quite a long time, so when my lover turn into an ex, I grabbed the opportunity. We broke up because of different reasons, not because I fell in love with my ex's best friend. Actually, the best friend never entered the picture until the relationship nearly fell apart. So anyway, I expressed my feelings and was reciprocated in a humble manner when all of a sudden, and out of the blue... gone. My calls was not answered, my text messages was not replied.
I thought, I might have come out too quick, too much and too desperate. So this tip is for you guys or gals out there who want to turn the friendship around into a relationship. Here's an excerpt or contents of the tips just in case you couldn't be bothered to click the hyperlink.
When You Fall for a Guy Pal
The "just friends' zone is like relationship quicksand, but you can get out with a few stateic maneuvers.
So you've buddied up with a guy who is cute, smart, and a blast to be with…such a blast that you realize you like-like him. Problem is, he's happy with you as a platonic pal. Here's how to escape the love-ya-like-a-sister friend zone and tune him in to your passion potential.
Friend-Zone Fix 1: Show Your Sexy Side
Don't go overboard, but alerting him to the fact that you're girlfriend material means swapping your workout clothes for girlier gear that amps up your sex appeal (think lipstick and heels), says Liz Kelly, author of Smart Man Hunting. It will remind him that you're a babe, not a female version of his fraternity brothers.
Next, insert a few subtly suggestive comments into your convos, such as "You make me laugh so much, I wish we hung out all the time." Another strategy: Give him a low-key compliment; for instance, tell him his haircut is hot. "He'll associate feeling attractive with being around you," explains Bonnie Jacobson, PhD, author of The Shy Single.
Friend-Zone Fix 2: Set Boundaries
You may want to dish all about our life, but guys tend to fall for women who retain mystery. "Revealing too much makes him less likely to see your love potential," says Jacobson.
And definitely keep your lust life under wraps. "Spilling guy problems may make you seem desperate," says Kelly. And if he veers into TMI territory — say he brings up a hookup — change the subject. "You don't want to be the therapist pal who helps him sort out girl issues," says Jacobson.
Friend-Zone Fix 3: Clue Him In to Your Compatibility
Point out common interests. When discussing how you both are sports fanatics, for example, nonchalantly say, "Wow, we're so alike." Also, spotlight your chemistry by touching casually — give him a brief hug when you part ways or place your hand on his arm as he's speaking. "It orients his brain toward the sparks you create," says Kelly.
Friend-Zone Fix 4: Confess Your Feelings
After several weeks of setting the stage, come clean — sort of. Broach the topic by couching it as someone else's observation: "My coworker saw us together and thought we were a couple."
Ideally, he'll hint back at your twosome capacity. If he does, follow up with "Could you ever see us going out?" Yep, it's bold, but you have nothing to lose...and a fab relationship to gain. "The idea may have crossed his mind," says Kelly. "Many guy-girl friendships have undercurrents of attraction, so there's a strong chance he feels the way you do."
Just watch for tip-offs that he's not interested. If he responds, "I don't think friends should date," drop it. But if he doesn't say much, "he might be so floored by the suggestion that he needs time to process it," says Jacobson. Now that you've laid your cards on the table, let him make the next move.
Friend-Zone Fix 1: Show Your Sexy Side
Don't go overboard, but alerting him to the fact that you're girlfriend material means swapping your workout clothes for girlier gear that amps up your sex appeal (think lipstick and heels), says Liz Kelly, author of Smart Man Hunting. It will remind him that you're a babe, not a female version of his fraternity brothers.
Next, insert a few subtly suggestive comments into your convos, such as "You make me laugh so much, I wish we hung out all the time." Another strategy: Give him a low-key compliment; for instance, tell him his haircut is hot. "He'll associate feeling attractive with being around you," explains Bonnie Jacobson, PhD, author of The Shy Single.
Friend-Zone Fix 2: Set Boundaries
You may want to dish all about our life, but guys tend to fall for women who retain mystery. "Revealing too much makes him less likely to see your love potential," says Jacobson.
And definitely keep your lust life under wraps. "Spilling guy problems may make you seem desperate," says Kelly. And if he veers into TMI territory — say he brings up a hookup — change the subject. "You don't want to be the therapist pal who helps him sort out girl issues," says Jacobson.
Friend-Zone Fix 3: Clue Him In to Your Compatibility
Point out common interests. When discussing how you both are sports fanatics, for example, nonchalantly say, "Wow, we're so alike." Also, spotlight your chemistry by touching casually — give him a brief hug when you part ways or place your hand on his arm as he's speaking. "It orients his brain toward the sparks you create," says Kelly.
Friend-Zone Fix 4: Confess Your Feelings
After several weeks of setting the stage, come clean — sort of. Broach the topic by couching it as someone else's observation: "My coworker saw us together and thought we were a couple."
Ideally, he'll hint back at your twosome capacity. If he does, follow up with "Could you ever see us going out?" Yep, it's bold, but you have nothing to lose...and a fab relationship to gain. "The idea may have crossed his mind," says Kelly. "Many guy-girl friendships have undercurrents of attraction, so there's a strong chance he feels the way you do."
Just watch for tip-offs that he's not interested. If he responds, "I don't think friends should date," drop it. But if he doesn't say much, "he might be so floored by the suggestion that he needs time to process it," says Jacobson. Now that you've laid your cards on the table, let him make the next move.
So there you go... tips for the week... Oh to continue my story, apparently the best friend did want to 'entertain' my feelings, but for the respect to my ex, my courtship was turned down. I was pretty bummed. But I understand. It's ironic, that I'm giving out relationship tips when I'm seeking to be single, but I'm not really or not sure but, we're working on it.
These tips mainly focus on a gal who fancies his guy friend, but I wouldn't know how would a gal-guy tips for a guy who fancies his gal friend and wanted to be more than friends. Any tips on that one? So girls, any tips? Anyone? That tip would be of great help to me especially! Considering my history...
So until then, amigos and amigas, Adios!
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