Thursday Thoughts

I have decided that every Thursday, I would write about my thoughts.  

Okay, what is in my thoughts at this very moment.  I'm already thinking what I am going to do tomorrow.  My team had a small near miss incident which was highlighted this afternoon by one of the other contractors.  Something fell and nearly hit on someone.  But this incident was never reported to me.  I was quite embarrassed being noted by  the operator that my team had managed to hide this incident.  And my team didn't say anything about it.  

See working offshore is a very serious job, in terms of safety.  Anything that revolves around safety is viewed as highest priority and the utmost importance.  Everyone who works here doesn't want anything to happen to anyone.  A life is a life and the value of live is irreplaceable.  It is the most important thing to be protected before materials or assets.  So tomorrow I will be giving a talk about what had happened and why was it not reported to me.

But anyway, other thoughts that ran by me is about my relationship.  I wonder if I may, ask any of my readers that sometimes you feel like you just want to be single, okay, perhaps single is a strong word, I mean, alone, free of any type of commitment whatsoever.  I suppose married couples would understand what I'm trying to say here more than people who are just about to embark on a relationship.  Hey, there's nothing wrong in my current relationship, my other half is great, but sometimes, I feel a little bit, just a tiny bit, pressured.  My time away working offshore doesn't help either.  It feels really good to be loved, I can assure you that, but sometimes, not because you have fallen out of love, but you just need yourself so that you can find you bearings again (don't think it's the kinky bearing type, what I mean is your sense of direction).  There were times when I wanted to be who I wanted to be, and do who (just kidding) what I wanted to do without any regards related to my relationship, but I just can't because I am self-programmed to act in away to preserve the relationship.

Previously, like I mention in my previous post, I am the kind of person who have commitment issues, I am a promiscuous guy, I am really a not nice person to be in a relationship, maybe a guy who likes to have a bit of fun here and there.  But I find myself at many times controlling myself for being that man.  My other half had taught me well.  Some of my other half's friends can assure you otherwise.  The thing about love is that everything is not in black or white, there's always an area which is painted in grey.  Which do get me a little confusing.  I just don't know where my relationship is going, hopefully it's up and forward.  I'm working on it.  I'm not trying to get myself out of the relationship, even though it sounds like it, I have not fallen out of love with my other half, I am not seeking for anybody to fill in that gap.  Probably, I just want to be free and single to do what I wanted to do, perhaps I'm not ready for a long term commitment.  I don't know.  I'm just being ambivalent right now.  And that is my thoughts for the day...  It's silly, I know...

My roommate is snoring away under my bed, so I think I should too, not to snore but to sleep, silly!  So until then my dear readers...  Take care and Adios!